My Tailor!

Who'll frown when I suggest a loan,
And ne'er produce Clicquot or Beaune,
But for his "checks" demand my own?--
My Tailor!

Who'll take my "measures" when he wills,
But only if I take his "bills,"
And add one more to human ills?--
My Tailor!

* * * * *

TAKEN AS YOU LIKE IT.

MY DEAR EDITOR,

It was most kind of you to ask me to go to the St. James's Theatre, the
other evening, to see Mrs. LANGTRY, after I had told you that since my
recovery from the influenza, I had unfortunately lost my memory. "Don't
you know anything about _As You Like It_?" you asked. I pondered deeply,
and then replied, that I half fancied it was a GERMAN REED'S
Entertainment, that would have gone better had it included a part for
Mr. CORNEY GRAIN. You told me I was wrong, but intimated that my
ignorance on the subject would make my notice the more impartial. So I
went.

As to the play--was I pleased with _As You Like It_? Well, I have known
worse, but I have seen better. It seemed a mixture of prose and verse,
with several topical allusions that appeared, somehow or other, to have
lost their point. For instance, a dull dog of a jester (played in a
funereal fashion by Mr. SUGDEN) stopped the action of the piece, for
what seemed to me (no doubt the time was actually less) some
three-quarters of an hour, while he explained the difference between the
"retort courteous" and "the reproof valiant." The plot was as thin as a
wafer, but as it is, no doubt, generally known, I need not further refer
to it. Mrs. LANGTRY was a most graceful and pleasing _Rosalind_. She
acted with an earnestness worthy of a better cause, and afforded not a
trace of the amateur. Of Miss VIOLET ARMBRUSTER as _Hymen_, I might say,
with a friend who spent several hours in knocking off the impromptu--

TO A SEASONABLE VIOLET.

Had always Hymen
Such mien, such carriage,
You ne'er would fly, men,
The state of marriage!

[Illustration: A New Piece.]

Mr. LAWRENCE CAUTLEY, as _Orlando_, had an uphill part. At times (thanks
to the author) he appeared in situations that were absolutely
ridiculous. For instance, he leaves an old retainer (capitally played by
that soundest of sound actors, Mr. EVERILL) dying of starvation, and,
sword in hand, appears at a pic-nic of the banished _Duke_, to demand
refreshment. "I almost die for food, and let me ha