'll get my
chips in with yours. Thar's been no one shot for a month in either Red
Dog or Wolfville an' I'm reedic'lous free of patients. An' if the
boys'll promise to hold themse'fs an' their guns in abeyance for a week
or so, an' not go framin' up excooses for my presence abrupt, I figgers
that a few days idlin' about the ranges, an' mebby a riot or two
roundin' up this cow-demon, will expand me an' do me good.'

"'You're lookin' for trouble, Doc,' says Colonel Sterett, kind o'
laughin' at Peets. 'You reminds me of a onhappy sport I encounters
long ago in Looeyville.'

"'An' wherein does this Bloo Grass party resemble me?' asks Peets.

"'It's one evenin',' says Colonel Sterett, 'an' a passel of us is
settin' about in the Gait House bar, toyin' with our beverages. Thar's
a smooth, good-lookin' stranger who's camped at a table near. Final,
he yawns like he's shore weary of life an' looks at us sharp an'
cur'ous. Then he speaks up gen'ral as though he's addressin' the air.
"This is a mighty dull town!" he says. "Which I've been yere a
fortnight an' I ain't had no fight as yet." An' he continyoos to look
us over plenty mournful.

"'"You-all needn't gaze on us that a-way," says a gent named Granger;
"you can set down a stack on it, you ain't goin' to pull on no war with
none of us."

"'"Shore, no!" says the onhappy stranger. Then he goes on apol'getic;
"Gents, I'm onfort'nately constitootcd. Onless I has trouble at
reasonable intervals it preys on me. I've been yere in your town two
weeks an' so far ain't seen the sign. Gents, it's beginnin' to tell;
an' if any of you-all could direct me where I might get action it would
be kindly took."

"'"If you're honin' for a muss," says Granger, "all you has to do is go
a couple of blocks to the east, an' then five to the no'th, an' thar on
the corner you'll note a mighty prosperous s'loon. You caper in by the
side door; it says FAMILY ENTRANCE over this yere portal. Sa'nter up
to the bar, call for licker, drink it; an' then you remark to the
barkeep, casooal like, that you're thar to maintain that any outcast
who'll sell sech whiskey ain't fit to drink with a nigger or eat with a
dog. That's all; that barkeep'll relieve you of the load that's
burdenin' your nerves in about thirty seconds. You'll be the happiest
sport in Looeyville when he gets through."

"'"But can't you come an' p'int out the place," coaxes the onhappy
stranger of Granger. He's all wropped