following specimens taken at random from his "Tribune Primer" sketches:

THE REPORTER

What is that I see? That, my Child, is the News Interviewer and he is
now interviewing a Man. But where is the Man? I can see no Man. The
Man, my Child, is in his Mind.

A RECHERCHE AFFAIR

This is a recherche Affair. Recherche Affairs are sometimes met with
in Parlors and Ball Rooms. But more Generally in the Society
Department of newspapers. A Recherche Affair is an Affair where the
Society Editor is invited to the refreshment table. When the Society
Editor is told his Room is Better than his Company, the Affair is not
Recherche.

THE STEAM PRESS

Is this not a Beautiful Steam Press? The Steam is Lying Down on the
Floor taking a Nap. He came from Africa and is Seventy Years Old. The
Press prints Papers. It can Print Nine Hundred papera an Hour. It
takes One Hour and Forty Minutes to Print the Edition of the Paper.
The Paper has a circulation of Thirty-seven thousand. The business
Manager says so.

It was indeed a happy departure from the ruder fooling of the newspaper
paragrapher of that day to clothe satire on current events and
every-day affairs in the innocent simplicity of the nursery. But the
vast majority of these Primer paragraphs were by no means as innocent
as those quoted. Many of them had a sting more sharp than that of the
wasp embalmed in one of them:

See the Wasp. He has pretty yellow stripes around his Body, and a
darning needle in his tail. If you will Pat the Wasp upon the Tail,
we will Give you a nice Picture Book.

Very many of them seemed inspired by an irrepressible desire to incite
little children to deeds of mischief never dreamed of in Baxter's
Saints' Rest. Here are a precious pair of paragraphs, each calculated
to bring the joy that takes its meals standing into any home circle
where youthful incorrigibles were in need of outside encouragement to
their infant initiative:

THE NASTY TOBACCO

What is that Nasty looking object? It is a Chew of Tobacco. Oh, how
naughty it is to use the Filthy weed. It makes the teeth black, and
spoils the Parlor Carpet. Go Quick and Throw the Horrid Stuff Away.
Put it in the Ice Cream Freezer or in the Coffee Pot where Nobody can
see it. Little Girls you should never chew Tobacco.

THE MUCILAGE

The Bottle is full of Mucilage. Take it and Pour some Mucilage into
Papa's Slippers. Then when Papa comes