nd mounted a desk to commence his lecture. The auditory crowded
and cowered timidly round him, while he, looking down on them with a
wrathful and contemptuous glance, was about to pour forth the pious
venom which hung upon his lips, when a sharp cry of "_Get along out
of that_" struck him dumb. Inquiry was useless, for all were ready
to swear that they had not uttered a word. Dr. Direful called them
"blasphemous liars," and proceeded one and all to empty the vials of his
wrath through the words of a text of awful denunciation, which I dare
not here repeat; but his words were again arrested by the exclamation
of, "Aisy now, aisy--what a devil of a hurry you are in!" uttered in
quick succession.--He jumped down from his altitude; and, in reply to
his renewed inquiries, a serious coachman offered up to the vengeance
of this Moloch of methodism the mischievous postilion, who had that
morning detected the not always sober son of the whip in other devotions
than those to which he professed exclusive addiction. When I saw the
rage of all parties, I thought of the roasted Indians of the Brazils,
and shuddered for the poor lad. After a short, but inquisitorial
examination, in which he in vain endeavoured to throw the blame on me,
he was stripped of his gaudy dress, and in spite of his well-founded
protestations of innocence, turned almost naked from the house. When
peace was restored, a hymn was sung as an exorcism of the evil spirit
that had gotten among the assembly; when, being determined to exculpate
the poor postilion, I joined with all my force in the chorus, with my
Catholic "_Gloria in excelsis_," which I abruptly changed into
"Polly put the kettle on." Thus taken in the fact, I was, without
ceremony, denounced as an emissary from Clongowes, brought to Sourcraut
Hall by the Papist O'Gallagher, with a forged letter, to disturb the
community. I was immediately cross-examined by a religious attorney, as
if I had been a white-boy or a ribbon-man. "Come forward," he said, "you
bird of satan!--speak out, and answer for yourself, for its yourself can
do it, you egg of the devil! What brought you here?" I answered, "It was
all for my sweet sowl's sake, jewel!"--and the answer decided my fate,
without more to do. And now loaded with all the reproaches that the
_odium theologicum_ could suggest, I was cuffed, hunted, and
finally driven out of the gates by the serious coachman, to perish on
the highway. On recovering from my fright,