, were not
her aphorisms superior to those of her husband? The cold face of Sir
JOHN grew eloquent in protest. She paused, and then with one wave of
her stately arm swept mutton, platter, knife, fork, and caper sauce
into the lap of Sir JOHN, whence the astonished BINNS, gasping in
pain, with much labour rescued them. JOANNA had disappeared in a
flame of mocking laughter, and was heard above calling on her maid
for salts. But Sir JOHN ere yet the sauce had been fairly scraped
from him, unclasped his note-book, and with trembling fingers wrote
therein, "POOLE's master-pieces are ever at the mercy of an angry
woman."

CHAPTER V.

But the world is hard, and there was little mercy shown for JOANNA's
freak. Her husband had slain her. That was all. She with her flashes,
her gaiety, her laughter, was consigned to dust. But in Sir JOHN's
note-book it was written that, "The hob-nailed boot is but a bungling
weapon. The drawing-room poker is better."

THE END.

[Footnote 1: I guarantee all these remarks to be intensely humorous
and brilliant. If you can't see it, so much the worse for you. They
are _screamers_.--G.V.]

* * * * *

"THE GRASSHOPPERA" AT THE LYRIC.

[Illustration: "Turned on the Toe."--_Shakspeare_.]

Nothing prettier than _La Cigale_ at the Lyric Theatre has been seen
in London for a very long time. The dresses are perfect, and the
three stage pictures which illustrate the graceful story could not be
better. Then the book is admittedly a model libretto, set to music
at once fresh and charming. What more could be desired? Why capable
exponents. Here, again, Mr. SEDGER is in luck's way. With Miss
GERALDINE ULMAR as the Grasshopper, and Miss EFFIE CLEMENTS as the
Ant, who could ask for more? Without replying to the question, it may
be said at once that "more" is excellently represented by Mr. ERIC
LEWIS as a Duke, Mr. LIONEL BROUGH as a Landlord (by the way the Uncle
of the Ant), and Mr. E.W. GARDEN as the Bill of the Play. Perhaps on
the first night the CHEVALIER SCOVEL as the _Chevalier de Bernheim_
was not quite at home in his new surroundings. Accustomed to a more
serious kind of entertainment, he appeared a trifle heavy, and his
tenor notes (not unsuggestive of the Bank of Elegance) were sometimes
of doubtful value. By this time, however, no doubt, he has regained
his normal composure, and sings as successfully as any of his
colleagues.

After the last Act everyone was