y
'Hadvance one an' give the countersign,' and if he can't give no
countersign, then blow 'is bleedin' 'ead off, see?... Now _I_ shall
visit yer from time to time, an' let me find you spry an' smart with
yer,' _'Alt,' 'Oo comes there?_ see? An' if either sentry sees anythink
suspicious down below there--let 'im send the other sentry across fer me
over in the picket there, see? 'E'll waike up the others meanwhile an'
they'll all watch out till I comes and gives orders, see? An' if you're
attacked afore I come, then retire firing. Retire on the picket, see? We
won't shoot yer. Don't make a bloomin' blackguard-rush for the picket
though. Jest retire one by one firin' steady, see? Now I'm goin' back to
the picket. Ow! an' don' fergit the reconnoitrin' patrol. Don' go an'
shoot at 'em as they comes back. 'Alt 'em for the countersign as they
comes out, and 'alt 'em fer it agin as they comes in, see? Right O. Now
you keep yer eyes skinned, Greens and Grobbles."

Private Cornelius Gosling-Green, M.P., had never looked really
impressive even on the public platform in over-long frock-coat and
turned-down collar. In ill-fitting khaki, ammunition boots, a helmet
many sizes too big, and badly-wound putties, he looked an extremely
absurd object. Private Augustus Grobble looked a little more
convincing, inasmuch as his fattish figure filled his uniform, but the
habit of wearing his helmet on the back of his neck and a general
congenital unmilitariness of habit and bearing, operated against
success.

Two unhappier men rarely stood back to back upon a lonely, windy
hill-top. Both were very hungry, very sleepy and very cold, both were
essentially men of peace, and both had powerful imaginations--especially
of horrors happening to their cherished selves.

Both were dealers in words; neither was conversant with things, facts,
deeds, and all that lay outside their inexpressibly artificial and
specialized little spheres. Each had been "educated" out of physical
manliness, self-reliance, courage, practical usefulness, adaptability,
"grit" and the plain virile virtues.

Cornelius burned with a peevish indignation that he, writer of
innumerable pamphlets, speaker at innumerable meetings, organizer of
innumerable societies, compiler of innumerable statistics, author of
innumerable letters to the press, he, husband of the famous suffragist
worker, speaker, organizer and leader, Superiora Gosling-Green (a
Pounding-Pobble of the Pounding-Pobbl