sty words, sir!" cries Captain Waring. "A gentleman tells another
gentleman that he will put him across his knees and whip him, and you
call those hasty words? Let me tell you if any man were to say to me,
'Charles Waring,' or 'Captain Waring, I'll put you across my knees and
whip you,' I'd say, 'I'll drive my cheese-toaster through his body,'
if he were as big as Goliath, I would. That's one affair with young Mr.
George Warrington. Mr. Harry, of course, as a young man of spirit, will
stand by his brother. That's two. Between Grace and the Colonel apology
is impossible. And, now--run me through the body!--you call an officer
of my regiment--of Halkett's, sir!--a hog before my face! Great heavens,
sir! Mr. Washington, are you all like this in Virginia? Excuse me, I
would use no offensive personality, as, by George! I will suffer none
from any man! but, by Gad, Colonel! give me leave to tell you that you
are the most quarrelsome man I ever saw in my life. Call a disabled
officer of my regiment--for he is disabled, ain't you, Grace?--call him
a hog before me! You withdraw it, sir--you withdraw it?"

"Is this some infernal conspiracy in which you are all leagued against
me?" shouted the Colonel. "It would seem as if I was drunk, and not you,
as you all are. I withdraw nothing. I apologise for nothing. By heavens!
I will meet one or half a dozen of you in your turn, young or old, drunk
or sober."

"I do not wish to hear myself called more names," cried Mr. George
Warrington. "This affair can proceed, sir, without any further insult on
your part. When will it please you to give me the meeting?"

"The sooner the better, sir!" said the Colonel, fuming with rage.

"The sooner the better," hiccupped Captain Grace, with many oaths
needless to print--(in those days, oaths were the customary garnish of
all gentlemen's conversation)--and he rose staggering from his seat, and
reeled towards his sword, which he had laid by the door, and fell as he
reached the weapon. "The sooner the better!" the poor tipsy wretch again
cried out from the ground, waving his weapon and knocking his own hat
over his eyes.

"At any rate, this gentleman's business will keep cool till to-morrow,"
the militia Colonel said, turning to the other king's officer. "You will
hardly bring your man out to-day, Captain Waring?"

"I confess that neither his hand nor mine are particularly steady," said
Waring.

"Mine is!" cried Mr. Warrington, glaring at his enem