obstacle
in my way, unless I can secure his good opinion at starting.

"Well, you may ask, and what is to prevent your securing his good
opinion? I am sadly afraid, Mother Oldershaw, I have got it on terms
I never bargained for I am sadly afraid the man is in love with me
already.

"Don't toss your head and say, 'Just like her vanity!' After the horrors
I have gone through, I have no vanity left; and a man who admires me
is a man who makes me shudder. There was a time, I own--Pooh! what am I
writing? Sentiment, I declare! Sentiment to _you_! Laugh away, my dear.
As for me, I neither laugh nor cry; I mend my pen, and get on with
my--what do the men call it?--my report.

"The only thing worth inquiring is, whether I am right or wrong in my
idea of the impression I have made on him.

"Let me see; I have been four times in his company. The first time was
in the major's garden, where we met unexpectedly, face to face. He stood
looking at me, like a man petrified, without speaking a word. The effect
of my horrid red hair, perhaps? Quite likely; let us lay it on my hair.
The second time was in going over the Thorpe Ambrose grounds, with young
Armadale on one side of me, and my pupil (in the sulks) on the other.
Out comes Mr. Midwinter to join us, though he had work to do in the
steward's office, which he had never been known to neglect on any other
occasion. Laziness, possibly? or an attachment to Miss Milroy? I can't
say; we will lay it on Miss Milroy, if you like; I only know he did
nothing but look at _me_. The third time was at the private interview
in the park, which I have told you of already. I never saw a man so
agitated at putting a delicate question to a woman in my life. But
_that_ might have been only awkwardness; and his perpetually looking
back after me when we had parted might have been only looking back at
the view. Lay it on the view; by all means, lay it on the view! The
fourth time was this very evening, at the little party. They made me
play; and, as the piano was a good one, I did my best. All the company
crowded round me, and paid me their compliments (my charming pupil
paid hers, with a face like a cat's just before she spits), except Mr.
Midwinter. _He_ waited till it was time to go, and then he caught me
alone for a moment in the hall. There was just time for him to take my
hand, and say two words. Shall I tell you _how_ he took my hand, and
what his voice sounded like when he spoke? Quite needles