was good enough, I guess; Green was his name;
a mild, fatherly old galoot. But the hands were the lowest gang I ever
handled; and whenever I tried to knock a little spirit into them, the
old man took their part! It was Gilbert and Sullivan on the high seas;
but you bet I wouldn't let any man dictate to me. 'You give me your
orders, Captain Green,' I said, 'and you'll find I'll carry them out;
that's all you've got to say. You'll find I do my duty,' I said; 'how
I do it is my lookout; and there's no man born that's going to give
me lessons.' Well, there was plenty dirt on board that Maria first and
last. Of course, the old man put my back up, and, of course, he put up
the crew's; and I had to regular fight my way through every watch. The
men got to hate me, so's I would hear them grit their teeth when I came
up. At last, one day, I saw a big hulking beast of a Dutchman booting
the ship's boy. I made one shoot of it off the house and laid that
Dutchman out. Up he came, and I laid him out again. 'Now,' I said, 'if
there's a kick left in you, just mention it, and I'll stamp your ribs
in like a packing-case.' He thought better of it, and never let on;
lay there as mild as a deacon at a funeral; and they took him below to
reflect on his native Dutchland. One night we got caught in rather a
dirty thing about 25 south. I guess we were all asleep; for the first
thing I knew there was the fore-royal gone. I ran forward, bawling blue
hell; and just as I came by the foremast, something struck me right
through the forearm and stuck there. I put my other hand up, and by
George! it was the grain; the beasts had speared me like a porpoise.
'Cap'n!' I cried.--'What's wrong?' says he.--'They've grained me,' says
I.--'Grained you?' says he. 'Well, I've been looking for that.'----'And
by God,' I cried, 'I want to have some of these beasts murdered for
it!'--'Now, Mr. Nares,' says he, 'you better go below. If I had been one
of the men, you'd have got more than this. And I want no more of your
language on deck. You've cost me my fore-royal already,' says he; 'and
if you carry on, you'll have the three sticks out of her.' That was old
man Green's idea of supporting officers. But you wait a bit; the cream's
coming. We made Melbourne right enough, and the old man said: 'Mr.
Nares, you and me don't draw together. You're a first-rate seaman, no
mistake of that; but you're the most disagreeable man I ever sailed
with; and your language and your con