I'm afraid of life."

"It won't hurt so much always, Anne."

"The thought that it may stop hurting sometimes hurts me worse than all
else, Marilla."

"Yes, I know, I've felt that too, about other things. But we all love
you, Anne. Captain Jim has been up every day to ask for you--and Mrs.
Moore haunts the place--and Miss Bryant spends most of her time, I
think, cooking up nice things for you. Susan doesn't like it very
well. She thinks she can cook as well as Miss Bryant."

"Dear Susan! Oh, everybody has been so dear and good and lovely to me,
Marilla. I'm not ungrateful--and perhaps--when this horrible ache
grows a little less--I'll find that I can go on living."

CHAPTER 20

LOST MARGARET

Anne found that she could go on living; the day came when she even
smiled again over one of Miss Cornelia's speeches. But there was
something in the smile that had never been in Anne's smile before and
would never be absent from it again.

On the first day she was able to go for a drive Gilbert took her down
to Four Winds Point, and left her there while he rowed over the channel
to see a patient at the fishing village. A rollicking wind was
scudding across the harbor and the dunes, whipping the water into
white-caps and washing the sandshore with long lines of silvery
breakers.

"I'm real proud to see you here again, Mistress Blythe," said Captain
Jim. "Sit down--sit down. I'm afeared it's mighty dusty here
today--but there's no need of looking at dust when you can look at such
scenery, is there?"

"I don't mind the dust," said Anne, "but Gilbert says I must keep in
the open air. I think I'll go and sit on the rocks down there."

"Would you like company or would you rather be alone?"

"If by company you mean yours I'd much rather have it than be alone,"
said Anne, smiling. Then she sighed. She had never before minded
being alone. Now she dreaded it. When she was alone now she felt so
dreadfully alone.

"Here's a nice little spot where the wind can't get at you," said
Captain Jim, when they reached the rocks. "I often sit here. It's a
great place jest to sit and dream."

"Oh--dreams," sighed Anne. "I can't dream now, Captain Jim--I'm done
with dreams."

"Oh, no, you're not, Mistress Blythe--oh, no, you're not," said Captain
Jim meditatively. "I know how you feel jest now--but if you keep on
living you'll get glad again, and the first thing you know you'll be
dreaming again--thank the good