h; and that, too, at no very distant period.

In these circumstances, I repeat, what could be done? Nature's extremity
is sometimes said to be God's opportunity. But without assuming that
there was any special providence about it, I will say, that I was driven
to desperation, nay almost to insanity or madness. I deemed myself on
the very verge of a mighty precipice, beneath which yawned a gulf
unfathomable. I must make a last mighty struggle, or perish
irretrievably and forever.

It was July 4th, the anniversary of American Independence; I sought and
found a few moments of calm reflection, and began to interrogate myself.
Why was I so dependent on the physician and the apothecary's shop, and
so tremblingly alive to every external impression of atmospheric
temperature, or purity? Why must I, at the early age of twenty-eight, be
doomed to tread the long road of decline and death? Why can I not
declare independence of all external remedial agents, and throw myself
wholly on nature and nature's God? I know, full well, the laws of my
being. If trust in these, and faithful and persevering obedience will
not save me, nothing will. Thus I mused; but alas! it was to muse only.
Though almost ready to take the critical step,--I will not say make the
desperate plunge,--the fourth of July finally passed away, and found me
still lingering, to use a Scripture expression, "between the porch and
the altar."

July the fifth at length arrived. And is it all over? I said to myself.
Has the "glorious" _Fourth_ gone by and I have not acted up to the
dignity of a well-formed and glorious resolution? Must I, alas! now go
on to woe irretrievable? Must I go down to the consumptive's grave? Must
I perish at less than thirty years of age, and thus make good the
declaration that the wicked shall not live out half his days?

A new thought came to me. "One of the South American provinces
celebrated her Independence to day, the fifth. I will take the hint,--I
will yet be free. I will escape from present circumstances. I will fly
from my native home, and all that pertains to it. I will fly from
myself,--It is done," I added, "and I go with the first conveyance."

I could indeed walk a little distance, but it either set me to coughing,
severely, or else threw me into a profuse perspiration which was equally
exhausting. One favorable symptom alone remained, a good appetite and
tolerable digestion. Had there been, in addition to the long train of
tro