I screamed, I shouted. Long and loudly I cried, but how long I
cannot tell. I did not leave off till I was weak and hoarse.

At intervals I listened, but no response reached me--no sound of human
voice. The echoes of my own reverberated along the sides of the ship,
throughout the dark hold; but no voice responded to its lamentable
tones.

I listened to discover whether I could not hear the voices of the
sailors. I had heard them in their chorus, when they were weighing
anchor, but then the ship was at rest, and the waves were not lashing
her timbers. Moreover, as I afterwards learned, the hold hatches had
then been up, and were only put down on our standing out to sea.

For a long while I listened, but neither command nor chorus reached my
ears. If I could not hear their loud baritone voices, how could they
hear mine?

"Oh! they cannot hear me! They will never hear me! They will never
come to my rescue! Here I must die--I must die!"

Such was my conviction, after I had shouted myself hoarse and feeble.
The sea-sickness had yielded for a time to the more powerful throes of
despair; but the physical malady returned again, and, acting in
conjunction with my mental misery, produced such agony as I never before
endured. I yielded to it; my energies gave way, and I fell over like
one struck down by paralysis.

For a long while, I lay in a state of helpless stupor. I wished myself
dead, and indeed I thought I was going to die. I seriously believe,
that at that moment I would have hastened the event if I could; but I
was too weak to have killed myself, even had I been provided with a
weapon. I _had_ a weapon, but I had forgotten all about it in the
confusion of my thoughts.

You will wonder at my making this confession--that I desired death; but
you would have to be placed in a situation similar to that I was in, to
be able to realise the horror of despair. Oh, it is a fearful thing!
May you never experience it!

I fancied I was going to die, but I _did not_. Men do not die either
from sea-sickness or despair, nor boys either. Life is not so easily
laid down.

I certainly was more than half dead, however; and I think for a good
while insensible. I was in a stupor for a long time--for many hours.

At length my consciousness began to return, and along with it a portion
of my energies. Strange enough, too, I felt my appetite reviving; for,
in this respect, the "sea-sickness" is somewhat peculiar. Pat