e beach; buy 'em
on the beach!

ROPER.

[_To JIMMIE, indignantly._] Jimmie Birch----!

JIMMIE.

[_Sitting upon the fauteuil-stool._] Ha, ha!

ROPER.

[_To MRS. UPJOHN, wiping his brow._] Of course, there is _this_ to be
said, Ma. [_Rallying at the idea._] It may be wise of dear Lil to
decline Farncombe _at first_. It-- it-- it-- it doesn't do for a girl,
does it, to appear to throw herself at _any_ man, let alone a young
fellow of the position-- the-- the-- the social status----!

LILY.

[_Suddenly sitting up and putting her feet to the floor again._] Oh,
for mercy's sake, cease discussing my affairs in my presence! [_To
MRS. UPJOHN._] Mother, why do you keep Uncle Lal in the dark? [_To
JIMMIE._] Jimmie, why don't _you_----?

ROPER.

In the dark!

MRS. UPJOHN.

Yes, Lal; your flyin' out at Jimmie over 'er 'armless joke stopped 'er
finishin'.

ROPER.

Finishing----?

MRS. UPJOHN.

Lil's not on'y refused young Farncombe but she's gone an' plighted
'erself to another individual.

ROPER.

Plighted herself----?

LILY.

[_Passionately._] To one of the best! To one of the best!

ROPER.

[_Stupefied._] Do I-- do I know him?

JIMMIE.

Ha!

LILY.

Know him! You know him sufficiently to have plotted and schemed to
prevent his being asked to the party last night.

JIMMIE.

[_To LILY._] Did Lal do that?

LILY.

_Did_ he!

JIMMIE.

Impudence!

ROPER.

[_Sitting in the arm-chair by the centre table-- quietly._] Jeyes!

JIMMIE.

Nicko.

LILY.

[_Firmly._] Nicko.

MRS. UPJOHN.

But the Captain _was_ at the party last night notwithstandin'.

JIMMIE.

[_To MRS. UPJOHN._] Nonsense, Ma!

LILY.

Yes, Nicko managed to get into the theatre somehow or other.

JIMMIE.

[_To LILY._] And watched you and young Farncombe----!

LILY.

And stationed himself under the portico of Twenty seven, to see who
brought me home.

JIMMIE.

Oh----!

MRS. UPJOHN.

'E's always been frightfully jealous, the Captain 'as.

JIMMIE.

[_Looking at ROPER._] Oh, so _really_ it's entirely owing to Lal
Roper's interference that matters were brought to a head this morning!

LILY.

[_Her eyes flashing._] Entirely.

MRS. UPJOHN.

[_Joining in the attack upon ROPER._] Yes, if Lal 'ad been content to
mind 'is own business----

JIMMIE.

And hadn't meddled----!

MRS. UPJOHN.

_An'_ muddled----!

JIMMIE.

Things might have gone on much the same as before.

MRS. UPJOHN.

An' m