ding table, by a preconcerted arrangement
Mrs. Griffin handed Mr. Abbert to the one side and squeezed herself
through the other--an action which was imitated by the rest of the
company, who were finally seated close up to the door--all but Mr.
Griffin, who was to occupy the extra chair, and, as he was already
inside, and there was no other means of exit, he was obliged to pass
through the kitchen and around the house. He soon appeared again through
the front door and the dinner began.

Mrs. Griffin, who had long before left Superannuated to finish while she
perfected her toilet, now rang the bell and, on her appearance,
whispered in her ear. Superannuated whispered in her mistress's ear.
Mrs. Griffin thereupon uttered a little cry and looked at Mr. Griffin.
Mr. Griffin, in consternation, cried, "My dear!" and attempted to
squeeze between the chairs, but failed. Then he looked wildly about him,
and at last ran through the front door. He soon reappeared at the side
of his fainting wife, who revived enough to say,--

"I shall never, never forgive you! Oh, the humiliation! the agony!" then
fainted again.

"What is it?" "What's the matter?" "She's fainted!" and confused screams
of the ladies came from all sides. Mrs. Dripps passed along her salts
bottle. Mrs. Abbert held Mrs. Griffin's head, and Fred applied water.
Under the strong influence of these restoratives she soon revived, and
whispered to her husband something which caused him also to start and
look despairingly at her.

She then said to him, loud enough for all to hear, "You must tell them
it was your fault. Oh, the humiliation!" Here she burst out again, with
her handkerchief to her eyes, and Mrs. Abbert soothingly said, "Oh,
never mind him, my dear. I wouldn't mind him!" This was growing
invidious, and all the gentlemen at the bottom of the table were looking
scornfully at him.

He therefore said, in a loud voice,--

"The turkey has not arrived,--that is all."

"That is all," whimpered Mrs. Griffin, mockingly. "That is all, he says;
and isn't it enough, sir, to have all your domestic failings exposed to
the world?"

Mrs. Griffin alluded to cooking facilities, and grew very bitter, while
"the world" simpered and exchanged looks.

Mr. Griffin then, in desperation, explained the whole matter,--how he
had left the card for David Dubbs, and paid for the turkey, and come
unsuspectingly home. "As," he added, "I have done year after year,
for----"

Here Mrs