y criminal
charge against you. Should anything of the kind be in contemplation,
you will be good enough to report progress to me as soon as possible,
and I will give you all necessary instructions as to your future
proceedings.

"I may mention that in seeking to obtain my title and estates, I am
influenced by no mean or mercenary considerations; my sole desire is
to benefit the human race. I have been employing all my leisure
hours during the last nine years in perfecting a system of philosophy
entirely new, and applicable to all times, to all nations, and to all
individuals. I have discovered the true foundation for it, which,
like all great inventions, is so simple that it will surprise the
world it was never thought of before. It is this: "Posito
impossibili sequitur quidlibet." My philosophy is founded on the
firm basis of the Impossible; on that you can build anything and
everything. My great work is methodical, divided into sections and
chapters, perfect in style, and so lucid in argument that he who runs
may read and be enlightened. I have counted the words, and they
number so far seven hundred and two thousand five hundred and
seventy-eight (702,578). Five years more will be required to
complete the work; I shall then cause it to be translated into every
language of the world, and shipped at the lowest rate of tonnage for
universal distribution gratis. This will ensure its acceptance and
its own beauty and intrinsic merits will secure its adoption by all
nations, and the result will be human happiness. It will supersede
all the baseless theories of science, religion, and morality which
have hitherto confounded the human intellect.

"Extract from my Magnum Opus.

"We may reasonably suppose that matter is primordially self-existent,
and that it imbued itself with the potentiality of life. It
therefore produced germs. A pair of germs coalesced, and formed a
somewhat discordant combination, the movements in which tended
towards divergence. They attracted and enclosed other atoms, and,
progressing through sleep and wakefulness, at last arrived at
complete satisfaction, or perfect harmonic combination. This
harmonic combination is death. We may say then, in brief, that
growth is simply discordant currents progressing towards harmony.
One question may be briefly noticed. It has been asked, when did
life first appear on the earth? We shall understand now that the
question is unnecessary. Life fir