EORGIE-PORGIE RAN AWAY!]

* * * * *

DEFINITION OF "STUFF AND NONSENSE."--A Junior urging a ridiculous
plea.

* * * * *

THE WINNER OF THE DERBY.--_Hugo_ in future is to be remembered as
"_Victor Hugo_."

* * * * *

OPERA-GOER'S DIARY.

[Illustration: Hot Weather. The Friar proposes cider-"cupping" as a
remedy. Dance of Joy in consequence.]

_Monday._--GOUNOD's _Romeo et Juliette_. _Les deux freres_ ("Brothers
of Corse"), JEAN and EDOUARD, excellent respectively as _Romeo_
and _Friar Laurent_. EDWARD looked the reverend, kind-hearted, but
eccentric herbalist to the life, singing splendidly. But Brother JOHN,
in black wig, black moustache, and with pallid face, look so unhealthy
a _Romeo_ that his appearance must have first excited _Juliet's_ pity,
which we all know is akin to love. My advice to JOHNNIE DE RESZKE is
to "lighten the part," and "do it on his head,"--which, being summed
up, means flaxen-haired wig and light moustache. _Juliette Eames_
charming. _Nurse Bauermeister_ too young. _Tybalt Montariol_, when
killed, must not lie "toes up" too close to Curtain. Friendly members
of Capulet faction rescued his legs, otherwise these members must have
suffered. M. DUFRICHE, as _Mercutio_, mistaken for EDOUARD DE RESZKE.
Subsequent appearance of the real Simon Pure as The Friar only
complicates matters, but death of _Mercutio_ settles it. The survivor
is EDOUARD DE RESZKE. Mr. ALEC MARSH, late of English Comic Opera,
appears as the _Duke of Verona_, and everyone admires his Grace.

[Illustration: Vaults on both sides.]

_Tuesday._--_Orfeo._ Everyone talking of to-morrow's Derby. Bets
"taken and Orf-"eo.

_Wednesday._--_Derby Day Night_--celebrated by performance of
_Philemon_ and _Cavalleria_. Both favourites. But in honour of the
winner _Hugo_, the Opera ought to have been the _Hugo-nots._

_Thursday_.--_Lohengrin._ _Rentree_ of Madame NORDICA as _Elsa_, who
couldn't be bettered by anybody Elser. _Lohengrin_ is "The Johnnie
of the Opera," i.e., JOHNNIE DE RESZKE. First-rate: no longer does he
appear in dark hair as in _Romeo_; but as a Knight light, suitable to
the time of year.

_Friday._--_Il Vascello Fantasma_, which is the _Flying Dutchman_
with MAGGIE MACINTIRE Mac-in-tirely restored to us as the charming
_Senta_--quite an Eighty-per-_Senta_--of attraction. Awful appearance
of Phantom Ship! Evidently strai