at the
back of his mind, this idea had come to the surface. An extraordinary
perversion, truly, which he could only account for by the fact that he
had always looked upon her as being more like what the primitive woman
must have been than anybody else in the world; and the first instinct of
the primitive woman would be to revenge any slight on her sexual pride.
He had misread her character, and in this new reading he found a
temporary consolation.

As he sat thinking of her he heard a mouse gnawing under the boards,
and every night after the mouse came to gnaw. 'The teeth of regret are
the same; my life is being gnawed away. Never shall I see her.' It
seemed impossible that life would close on him without his seeing her
face or hearing her voice again, and he began to think how it would be
if they were to meet on the other side. For he believed in heaven, and
that was a good thing. Without such belief there would be nothing for
him to do but to go down to the lake and make an end of himself. But
believing as he did in heaven and the holy Catholic Church to be the
surest way of getting there, he had a great deal to be thankful for.
Poole's possession of her was but temporary, a few years at most,
whereas his possession of her, if he were so fortunate as to gain
heaven, and by his prayers to bring her back to the true fold, would
endure for ever and ever. The wisest thing, therefore, for him to do
would be to enter a Trappist monastery. But our Lord says that in heaven
there is neither marriage nor giving in marriage, and what would heaven
be to him without Nora? No more than a union of souls, and he wanted her
body as well as her soul. He must pray. He knew the feeling well--a sort
of mental giddiness, a delirium in the brain; and it increased rapidly,
urging him to fall on his knees. If he resisted, it was because he was
ashamed and feared to pray to God to reserve Nora for him. But the whirl
in his brain soon deprived him of all power of resistance, and, looking
round the room hurriedly to assure himself he was not watched, he fell
on his knees and burst into extemporary prayer: '_O my God, whatever
punishment there is to be borne, let me bear it. She sinned, no doubt,
and her sins must be atoned for. Let me bear the punishment that thou,
in thine infinite wisdom, must adjudge to her, poor sinful woman that
she is, poor woman persecuted by men, persecuted by me. O my God,
remember that I lent a willing ear to scandalmo