s far above our miserable selves, by so much is
the contemplation of Him worthier of the Christian than that of his own
person. Oh! who is indeed so happy as to have wholly lost that self and
to be perfectly absorbed in God! But it pursues us, and when the soul
fondly thinks itself already blended in union with the Most High it
cries out 'Here am I!' and drags our nobler part down again into the
dust. It is bad enough that we must hinder the flight of the soul, and
are forced to nourish and strengthen the perishable part of our being
with bread and water and slothful sleep to the injury of the immortal
part, however much we may fast and watch. And shall we indulge the
flesh, to the detriment of the spirit, by granting it any of its demands
that can easily be denied? Only he who despises and sacrifices his
wretched self can, when he has lost his baser self by the Redeemer's
grace, find himself again in God."

Hermas had listened patiently to the anchorite, but he now shook his
head, and said: "I cannot under stand either you or my father. So long
as I walk on this earth, I am I and no other. After death, no doubt, but
not till then, will a new and eternal life begin."

"Not so," cried Paulus hastily, interrupting him. "That other and higher
life of which you speak, does not begin only after death for him who
while still living does not cease from dying, from mortifying the flesh,
and from subduing its lusts, from casting from him the world and his
baser self, and from seeking the Lord. It has been vouchsafed to many
even in the midst of life to be born again to a higher existence. Look
at me, the basest of the base. I am not two but one, and yet am I in the
sight of the Lord as certainly another man than I was before grace found
me, as this young shoot, which has grown from the roots of an overthrown
palmtree is another tree than the rotten trunk. I was a heathen and
enjoyed every pleasure of the earth to the utmost; then I became a
Christian; the grace of the Lord fell upon me, and I was born again, and
became a child again; but this time--the Redeemer be praised!--the child
of the Lord. In the midst of life I died, I rose again, I found the joys
of Heaven. I had been Menander, and like unto Saul, I became Paulus. All
that Menander loved--baths, feasts, theatres, horses and chariots, games
in the arena, anointed limbs, roses and garlands, purple-garments, wine
and the love of women--lie behind me like some foul bog out