y youth, which lately
had been shaken off in the stir of intrigue and of rides that had seemed
the prelude to battle, were closing round me again.

Even as a woman had lured me once from the ways to which I seemed
predestined, only to drive me back once more the more frenziedly, so now
it almost seemed as if again a woman should have lured me to the world
but to drive me from it again and more resolutely than ever. For I was
anew upon the edge of a resolve to have done with all human interests
and to seek the peace and seclusion of the cloister.

And then I bethought me of Gervasio. I would go to him for guidance, as
I had done aforetime. I would ride on the morrow to seek him out in the
convent near Piacenza to which he had withdrawn.

I was disturbed at last by the coming of a page to my chamber with the
announcement that my lord was already at supper.

I had thoughts of excusing myself, but in the end I went.

The repast was spread, as usual, in the banqueting-hall of the castle;
and about the splendid table was Pier Luigi's company, amounting to
nigh upon a score in all. The Duke himself sat on Monna Bianca's right,
whilst on her left was Cosimo.

Heeding little whether I was observed or not, I sank to a vacant place,
midway down the board, between one of the Duke's pretty young gentlemen
and one of the ladies of that curious train--a bold-eyed Roman woman,
whose name, I remember, was Valeria Cesarini, but who matters nothing in
these pages. Almost facing me sat Giuliana, but I was hardly conscious
of her, or conscious, indeed, of any save Monna Bianca.

Once or twice Bianca's glance met mine, but it fell away again upon the
instant. She was very pale, and there were wistful lines about her lips;
yet her mood was singular. Her eyes had an unnatural sparkle, and ever
and anon she would smile at what was said to her in half-whispers, now
by the Duke, now by Cosimo, whilst once or twice she laughed outright.
Gone was the usual chill reserve with which she hedged herself about to
distance the hateful advances of Pier Luigi. There were moments now when
she seemed almost flattered by his vile ogling and adulatory speeches,
as if she had been one of those brazen ladies of his Court.

It wounded me sorely. I could not understand it, lacking the wit to see
that this queer mood sprang from the blow I had dealt her, and was the
outward manifestation of her own pain at the shattering of the illusions
she had harboured c