y all begin to sault
and hustle you; it's human nature, Barnet. You show weakness, think
of your dear ma, mayhap, and begin to cry: it's all over with you;
the whole school is at you--upper boys and under, big and little; the
dirtiest little fag in the place will pipe out blaggerd names at you,
and takes his pewny tug at your tail.

The only way to avoid such consperracies is to put a pair of stowt
shoalders forrards, and bust through the crowd of raggymuffins. A good
bold fellow dubls his fistt, and cries, "Wha dares meddle wi' me?" When
Scott got HIS barnetcy, for instans, did any one of us cry out? No, by
the laws, he was our master; and wo betide the chap that said neigh to
him! But there's barnets and barnets. Do you recklect that fine chapter
in "Squintin Durward," about the too fellos and cups, at the siege of
the bishop's castle? One of them was a brave warner, and kep HIS cup;
they strangled the other chap--strangled him, and laffed at him too.

With respeck, then, to the barnetcy pint, this is my advice: brazen it
out. Us littery men I take to be like a pack of schoolboys--childish,
greedy, envius, holding by our friends, and always ready to fight. What
must be a man's conduck among such? He must either take no notis, and
pass on myjastick, or else turn round and pummle soundly--one, two,
right and left, ding dong over the face and eyes; above all, never
acknowledge that he is hurt. Years ago, for instans (we've no ill-blood,
but only mention this by way of igsample), you began a sparring with
this Magaseen. Law bless you, such a ridicklus gaym I never see: a man
so belaybord, beflustered, bewolloped, was never known; it was the laff
of the whole town. Your intelackshal natur, respected Barnet, is not
fizzickly adapted, so to speak, for encounters of this sort. You must
not indulge in combats with us course bullies of the press: you have not
the STAMINY for a reglar set-to. What, then, is your plan? In the midst
of the mob to pass as quiet as you can: you won't be undistubbed. Who
is? Some stray kix and buffits will fall to you--mortial man is subjick
to such; but if you begin to wins and cry out, and set up for a marter,
wo betide you!

These remarks, pusnal as I confess them to be, are yet, I assure you,
written in perfick good-natur, and have been inspired by your play of
the "Sea Capting," and prefiz to it; which latter is on matters intirely
pusnal, and will, therefore, I trust, igscuse this kind of ad