e were going to be some of these mess alliances to wind up
with, for Sam Singer is calling on Mabel Andrews in citizen's clothing,
she having jeered him out of his Prince Albert; and Henry Snyder has
stopped scoffing and infests the Payley house to an alarming extent. So
I imagine that our Smart Set will get back to shirtsleeves in two
generations less than yours usually requires, and we'll miss it a lot.
Next to the ill feeling between the _Argus_ and the _Democrat_, it has
been our greatest diversion.

IV

THE SERVANT QUESTION IN HOMEBURG

_How Mrs. Singer Amuses Us All by Insisting on Having It_

No apologies, Jim. If the Declaration of Independence who prepares your
meals for you has packed up and gone, I don't need any explanations. I
understand already. You can't ask me up to dinner because there isn't
going to be any dinner. If you don't go out to a restaurant, you'll get
a bite yourself while Mrs. Jim puts the children to bed. And then you'll
spend the evening wondering where you can beg, borrow, abduct,
hypnotize, or manufacture another cook.

I know all about it. The great sorrow has come upon you, and there's
only one comfort--there are others. It falls upon all who try to get out
of doing their own housework in New York. And I'll bet you were good
enough to the last cook, too--only asked her for one night out a week,
came to her meals promptly, didn't demand more than a fair living wage,
and let her have the rest. Yes, of course you did. And you're going to
let the next one have the best room and ring for her breakfast in the
morning, aren't you? What? Draw the line at that? Well, Jim, I admire
your nerve. You're one of the grand old rugged patriots who will not be
trodden on. Why did your last cook leave, anyway?

Didn't like the kitchen, eh? And being in a flat you couldn't tear it
out and rebuild it. Yes, I agree with you. The servant problem in New
York is getting to be very serious. To-day you are gay and happy with
luxury and comfort all about you, and to-morrow you are picking
sardines out of a can with a fork for dinner. I am certainly glad I live
in the country, where servant girls do not come on Monday with two
trunks and go away early Thursday morning with three trunks and a
bundle.

We have no servant problem in Homeburg. However, I exclude Mrs. Singer
from this "we." There are only two servants in the whole town. Mrs.
Singer has them. That is, she tries to have them. Mrs. Singer'