beautiful than the other,
and from hamlet to hamlet bowered amid dark evergreens; the next, I was
on pine-clad heights, gazing over moorland brown with last year's
heather, feeling upon my face a wind from the white-flecked Channel. So
intense was my delight in the beautiful world about me that I forgot even
myself; I enjoyed without retrospect or forecast; I, the egoist in grain,
forgot to scrutinize my own emotions, or to trouble my happiness by
comparison with others' happier fortune. It was a healthful time; it
gave me a new lease of life, and taught me--in so far as I was
teachable--how to make use of it.

X.

Mentally and physically, I must be much older than my years. At three-
and-fifty a man ought not to be brooding constantly on his vanished
youth. These days of spring which I should be enjoying for their own
sake, do but turn me to reminiscence, and my memories are of the springs
that were lost.

Some day I will go to London and revisit all the places where I housed in
the time of my greatest poverty. I have not seen them for a quarter of a
century or so. Not long ago, had any one asked me how I felt about these
memories, I should have said that there were certain street names,
certain mental images of obscure London, which made me wretched as often
as they came before me; but, in truth, it is a very long time since I was
moved to any sort of bitterness by that retrospect of things hard and
squalid. Now, owning all the misery of it in comparison with what should
have been, I find that part of life interesting and pleasant to look back
upon--greatly more so than many subsequent times, when I lived amid
decencies and had enough to eat. Some day I will go to London, and spend
a day or two amid the dear old horrors. Some of the places, I know, have
disappeared. I see the winding way by which I went from Oxford Street,
at the foot of Tottenham Court Road, to Leicester Square, and, somewhere
in the labyrinth (I think of it as always foggy and gas-lit) was a shop
which had pies and puddings in the window, puddings and pies kept hot by
steam rising through perforated metal. How many a time have I stood
there, raging with hunger, unable to purchase even one pennyworth of
food! The shop and the street have long since vanished; does any man
remember them so feelingly as I? But I think most of my haunts are still
in existence: to tread again those pavements, to look at those grimy
doorways and purb