oats, and why should we be
hypocritical over it? They haven't got a good word for me, any one of
them; so I like to take a rise out of them."

"I must say that I can see no sense in that. They are your brothers
in the profession, with the same education and the same knowledge. Why
should you take an offensive attitude towards them?"

"That's what I say, Dr. Munro," cried his wife. "It is so very
unpleasant to feel that one is surrounded by enemies on every side."

"Hetty's riled because their wives wouldn't call upon her," he cried.
"Look at that, my dear," jingling his bag. "That is better than having
a lot of brainless women drinking tea and cackling in our drawing-room.
I've had a big card printed, Munro, saying that we don't desire to
increase the circle of our acquaintance. The maid has orders to show it
to every suspicious person who calls."

"Why should you not make money at your practice, and yet remain on good
terms with your professional brethren?" said I. "You speak as if the two
things were incompatible."

"So they are. What's the good of beating about the bush, laddie?
My methods are all unprofessional, and I break every law of medical
etiquette as often as I can think of it. You know very well that the
British Medical Association would hold up their hands in horror if it
could see what you have seen to-day."

"But why not conform to professional etiquette?"

"Because I know better. My boy, I'm a doctor's son, and I've seen too
much of it. I was born inside the machine, and I've seen all the wires.
All this etiquette is a dodge for keeping the business in the hands of
the older men. It's to hold the young men back, and to stop the holes by
which they might slip through to the front. I've heard my father say so
a score of times. He had the largest practice in Scotland, and yet he
was absolutely devoid of brains. He slipped into it through seniority
and decorum. No pushing, but take your turn. Very well, laddie, when
you're at the top of the line, but how about it when you've just taken
your place at the tail? When I'm on the top rung I shall look down and
say, 'Now, you youngsters, we are going to have very strict etiquette,
and I beg that you will come up very quietly and not disarrange me from
my comfortable position.' At the same time, if they do what I tell
them, I shall look upon them as a lot of infernal blockheads. Eh, Munro,
what?"

I could only say again that I thought he took a very low vi