tness and its sparkle, it neither
detracts from the flavour nor the strength of the beverage. At the same
time, when I begin to froth up, don't expect me to sober down before
twenty-four hours. So take your hat, come along into town, and thank
your stars that you have been able to delight the heart of a man who's
trying to get a bill discounted. Now hear me, Jack,' said he, as we
descended the stairs; 'if you expect me to conduct myself with becoming
gravity and decorum, you had better avoid any mention of the Rooneys for
the rest of the day. And now to business!'

As we proceeded down Dame Street my friend scientifically explained to
me the various modes there were of obtaining money on loan.

'I don't speak,' said he, 'of those cases where a man has landed
security, or property of one kind or other, or even expectations,
because all these are easy--the mere rule of three in financial
arithmetic What I mean are the decimal fractions of a man's
difficulties, when, with as many writs against him as would make a
carpet for his bedroom, he can still go out with an empty pocket in the
morning and come back with it furnished at night. And now to begin. The
maxims of the sporting world are singularly applicable to the practice
before us. You're told that before you enter a preserve your first duty
is to see that your gun is properly loaded--all the better if it be
a double-barrelled one. Now, look here'--as he spoke he drew from
his sabretache five bills for one hundred pounds each; 'you see I am
similarly prepared. The game may get up at any moment, and not find me
at half-cock; and although I only go out for a single bird--that is, but
one hundred, yet, if by good-luck I flush a covey, you see I am ready
for them all. The doctrine of chances shows us that five to one is
better than an even bet; so, by scattering these five bills in different
directions, the odds are exactly so many in my favour that I raise a
hundred somewhere.' 'And now,' said I, 'where does the game lie?'
'I'm coming to that, Jack. Your rich preserves are all about the
neighbourhood of Clare Street, Park Street, Merrion Street, and that
direction. With them, alas! I have nothing to do. My broad acres have
long since taken wings to themselves; and I fear a mortgage upon Mount
O'Grady, as it at present exists, would be a poor remedy for an empty
pocket. The rich money-lenders despise poor devils like me; they love
not contingencies; and, as Macbeth says, "