The ravings of a fevered brain,
As I went o'er and o'er again
The scenes and horrors of that night,
Freezing my listeners with affright.
A weary time; but, to be brief,
Kind Heaven in mercy sent relief.
At last, far gane, I found my head,
And kent the folk about my bed;
Among them I was pleased to view
My worthy friend Nurse Killiegrew,
For she had with her presence blessed me,
And thro' my illness watched and nursed me.

I had their warm congratulations,
And their demands for explanations
About my ravings wild and furious
(Women are aye sae keen and curious).
'Poor man,' quoth Nurse, 'you've had a lesson,
'Twill ease your mind to mak' confession.'
Abashed, ashamed, I hesitated,
At last, with pain, my tale related.

My yarn, of course, made great sensation;
They groaned and grat at the narration,
Save Nurse, who shook her head in sadness,
Incredulous, declared my story madness.
Said she, 'You fancy you have seen the Deevil,
And golfed and bargained wi' the Prince o' Evil;
You've had the horrors, it would seem,
And what you tell us was a drunkard's dream.'

'Pardon,' said I,--I felt quite nettled,--
'I do not think you've fairly settled
The nature of my strange distraction,
At least not to my simple satisfaction.
To clear myself, my honour tells me,
A stern necessity compels me,
Against your most injurious explanations
I have strong proof in bodily sensations.
For obvious reasons, I would fain refrain
From reference to the region of my pain.
The cause I've in my story tell't ye,
The skelp wi' tail Auld Hooky dealt me;
Further, my breeks, or I'm mistaen,
Will furnish proof both strong and plain.
Bring forth the breeks; as sure as leeks is leeks
You'll find the proof upon the breeks.'
The breeks they brought, o' good grey tweed,
And laid them oot upon the bed.
It was indeed a solemn moment,
Mysel', six worthy women present,--
A wise, discreet, respectable sederunt.
Auld Meg Kilgour, a clever howdie;
That virtuous woman, Jenny Braidie,
As dink and braw as ony lady;
The aged clack wife, Nelly Gourlay;
Good Jeanie Tosh, and stout Bell Lonie;
And last, the wisest o' the crew,
My worthy nurse, Miss Killiegrew.

The carlines they put on their specs,
Six pair o' een bore on the breeks;
Awe-struck they saw upon the seat,
Brunt black and deep, the mark complete
Of Clootie's tail, like t