from
us at the cost of so much blood? Even the fact of my having so carefully
guarded the secret of the stone might be twisted into sinister
suspicions against me.

As for those bright hopes that I had but lately entertained, how could I
now raise my eyes towards Mistress Pamela, or how could I look for
anything, who was stained with such dreadful suspicions, without
prospect of being cleansed from them?

Perceiving all these things so clearly, I resigned myself to the depths
of gloomy despair, for the more I bent my mind upon these matters the
less did I see my way clear from my entanglements. I sat long into the
night, thinking and thinking, until the temptation came upon me to shoot
out my brains, and be quit of all my troubles in that sudden manner. In
this extremity I flung myself upon my knees and prayed most fervently,
and after a while was more at peace, though with no clearer knowledge as
to how I might better my condition. So I went to my berth, where I was
presently sound asleep, with all my troubles forgot.

A day or two after these things had befallen comes one of the Company's
clerks aboard, with an order from Mr. Elliott relieving me of my
command, and appointing Mr. Langely in my stead. This appointment Mr.
Langely would have refused had I not urged him to accept of it, seeing
he could better settle the affairs of which he would be in charge than
one who would come aboard a stranger. Accordingly he consented to do as
I advised, though protesting against it most earnestly.

About two weeks after our arrival at Bombay the Governor notified me
that the Company's ship _Lavinia_ was about quitting her anchorage, and
that he had secured a berth to England in her for me. I was very well
pleased that the Governor had hit upon this one ship of all others in
the Company's service, for her commander, Captain Croker, was an old and
well-tried friend of mine, and one with whom it would be more pleasing
to be consociated at a time of such extreme ill fortune as I was then
suffering under. I went aboard her at once, and was most kindly received
by Captain Croker, whom I found had had a very comfortable berth fitted
up for me, and had arranged all things to make my voyage as pleasant as
possible.

The day after I came aboard, wind and tide being fair, and Captain
Croker having received his orders, we hoisted anchor and sailed out of
the harbor, and by four o'clock had dropped the land astern.

During the first pa