(_Facsimile of Sketch by Our Out-of-Town Special._)]

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ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM

THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday August 22._--Peers at last face the
inevitable. As records have shown there has been for week or two no
work for them to do. Still, they have eased their tender consciences
by assembling to see HALSBURY take the Woolsack. (Always a pleasing
spectacle. Innate grace of LORD CHANCELLOR comes out in every step and
gesture.) To-night there was, as usual, nothing to do; but Noble
Lords really could not again make believe that Nation could not get
on without them. So stayed away, and for one night House of Lords
abolished.

In Commons at hour for commencing public business barely a quorum
present. Both Front Bench and Treasury Bench vacant. GEORGE BALFOUR,
always ready to throw himself into breach, took possession of seat of
Leader of Opposition, and calmly gazed across table. Never should it
be said as long as he had seat in House that Liberals were as sheep
without a shepherd. Few Members on back benches visibly brightened up
at sight of veteran volunteer.

Only a few questions, but unwonted difficulty in getting through them.
Some cases the questioner not present. In others Minister addressed
not yet arrived. MCARTHUR had question down pretty early in list.
SPEAKER called upon him. No response. Went on to next question.
Quarter of an hour later, all other questions run through. MCARTHUR
coming in put his question to Parliamentary Secretary for Foreign
Affairs. FERGUSSON, who had also just arrived, supposing that MCARTHUR
had put question in due course, apologised to him for not having been
in his place; whereat House laughed uproariously. Very grateful in
these times for anything that looks like joke.

P. STANHOPE brought under notice of Home Secretary case of
enterprising parish constable in North Hunts. P.C., a supporter of Her
Majesty's Government, resented Liberal candidate presenting himself
before constituency. Determined he should not be heard. Brought down
enormous rattle; swung it about throughout candidate's speech. JOSEPH
GILLIS pricked up his ears. What a notion this would be for adaptation
to Parliamentary usage! Suppose he had rattle and swung it whilst
SAUNDERSON or JOHNSTON were speaking? Will consult SPEAKER as to how
far this would be in order. HOME SECRETARY declined to be responsible
for either parish constabl