nced by my wishes, unless they tallied with his
own. I felt at this time as if I could have been fond of him too, if he
would have let me; but I was timid from my childhood, and before long my
dread of his displeasure (coming down like thunder into the midst of his
love, for such slight causes as a hesitation in reply, a wrong word, or
a sigh for my father), conquered my humorous inclination to love one who
was so handsome, so accomplished, so indulgent and devoted. But if I
could not please him when indeed I loved him, you may imagine how often
I did wrong when I was so much afraid of him as to quietly avoid his
company for fear of his outbursts of passion. One thing I remember
noticing, that the more M. de la Tourelle was displeased with me, the
more Lefebvre seemed to chuckle; and when I was restored to favour,
sometimes on as sudden an impulse as that which occasioned my disgrace,
Lefebvre would look askance at me with his cold, malicious eyes, and
once or twice at such times he spoke most disrespectfully to M. de la
Tourelle.

I have almost forgotten to say that, in the early days of my life at
Les Rochers, M. de la Tourelle, in contemptuous indulgent pity at my
weakness in disliking the dreary grandeur of the salon, wrote up to
the milliner in Paris from whom my corbeille de mariage had come, to
desire her to look out for me a maid of middle age, experienced in the
toilette, and with so much refinement that she might on occasion serve
as companion to me.

PORTION II.

A Norman woman, Amante by name, was sent to Les Rochers by the Paris
milliner, to become my maid. She was tall and handsome, though upwards
of forty, and somewhat gaunt. But, on first seeing her, I liked her;
she was neither rude nor familiar in her manners, and had a pleasant
look of straightforwardness about her that I had missed in all the
inhabitants of the chateau, and had foolishly set down in my own mind as
a national want. Amante was directed by M. de la Tourelle to sit in my
boudoir, and to be always within call. He also gave her many instructions
as to her duties in matters which, perhaps, strictly belonged to my
department of management. But I was young and inexperienced, and thankful
to be spared any responsibility.

I daresay it was true what M. de la Tourelle said--before many weeks had
elapsed--that, for a great lady, a lady of a castle, I became sadly too
familiar with my Norman waiting-maid. But you know that by birth we were