ties and extravagances of Fashionable People?

So then, as an Honourable Merchant in a city and country where Commerce
is reckoned among the noblest of Pursuits, I might, but for my Perverse
Fate, have grown Rich, and taken unto myself a Dutch Wife, and had a
Brood of little Broad-beamed Children, that should smoke their Tobacco
and quaff their Schiedam, even from their Cradle upwards. Indeed, Madam
Vanderkipperhaerin of Gouda (the place where the Cows feed in the
Meadows clad in Blue-striped Jackets and Petticoats) was pleased to look
upon me with Eyes of Favour, and often said it was a Sin and Shame that
such a Proper Man as I (as she was good enough to say) was not Married
and Settled. And, indeed, why not? I ofttimes asked myself. I had
Florins, Guilders, and Stuyvers in abundance; my Partner was a
Magistrate, and well reputed worthy: why should I not give Hostages to
Fortune, and have done for good and all with the Life of a Roving
Bachelor? By this time (although by no means forgetting my own dear
native Tongue) I spoke French with Ease and Fluency, if not with
Grammatical correctness; and had likewise an indifferently copious
acquaintance with the Hollands Dialect. Why should not I be a
Magistrate, a Burgomaster? Madam Vanderkipperhaerin was Rich, and had a
beautiful Summer Villa all glistening with Bee's-waxed Campeachy-wood
and Polished Brass on the River Amstel, some three miles from the City.
She had a whole Cabinet full of Ostades and Jan Steens in ebony frames,
and a Side-board of Antique Plate that might have made Cranbourn Alley
jealous. Why did not I avail myself of the many Propitious Moments that
offered, and demand the Hand of that most respectable Dutch Dame.

The Melancholy Truth is, that she chose to be jealous of Betje, Mr.
Vandepeereboom's comely Housekeeper, upon whom I declare that I had
never cast any thing but innocently Paternal Glances, and utterly deny
that I ever foregathered with that young Fraw. She was for moving Mr.
Vandepeereboom to have Betje sent to the Workhouse, there to be set to
Spinning, and to receive the usual unhandsome Treatment; and when he
refused,--having, in truth, no fault to find with the Poor
Girl,--Madam, in a Huff, withdrew her Countenance and Favour from me,
and, with sundry of her spiteful gossips, revived the old Story of my
having several Wives alive in different parts of Europe and the New
World. Surely there was never yet a man so exposed to calumny as poor