are not very honorable, or very
upright, or very anything good in the Osborne matrimonial arrangement.
Anybody but you would hate me for all this I've told you, but I know you
are pitying me with all your soul, because you know the empty-headed
Sallie Cox carries with her a very sore heart, and that it will take more
than Payson Osborne has got to give to heal it. I call him Pay sometimes,
but he hates it. I only do it when I think how much he does pay for a very
bad bargain. But he doesn't care, so why should I?

"It really does seem odd, when I look back on it, to see how easy it was
to get him, when all the time I was perfectly indifferent to him, and
received his attentions on the Platonic basis to keep him from making love
to me. I really think I never had any one to care for me in so exactly the
way I like, and to be so easy in his demands, and to think me so
altogether perfect and charming, no matter what I do. It was because I was
absolutely indifferent to him. I never cared when he came. I never cared
when he went. Other lovers fussed and quarrelled and were jealous and
disagreeable when I flirted with other men, but Payson never cared. He
didn't tease me, you know. And whenever he said anything, I could look
innocent and say, 'Is that Platonic friendship?' So he would have to
subside. I know he thought some of my indifference was assumed, for when
he told me about Miss Culpepper he thought I would be vexed. I _was_
vexed, but I had presence of mind not to show it. I only laughed and made
no comment at all--asked him what time it was, I believe. Then when he
looked so disappointed and sulky, I knew I was right, and I patted Sallie
Cox on the head for being so clever--so clever as not to care, chiefly.
There is nothing, absolutely nothing, you cannot do with a man who loves
you, if you don't care a speck for him. And the luxury of perfect
indifference! Emotions are awfully wearing, Ruth. I wonder that these
emotional women like Rachel get on at all. I should think they would die
of the strain. Men are always deadly afraid of such women. I believe
Payson wouldn't stop running till he got to California if I should burst
into tears and not be able to tell him instantly just exactly where my
neuralgia had jumped to. No unknown waverings and quaverings of the heart
for my good Osborne. There goes Alice Asbury again. I am dying to tell you
something. You know why she hates me, and understand why she treats me so
abomi