beauty of the body. But character and intellect may be studied and loved
as self-centeredly, as much with a view to the enjoyment of mental
excitement, as the body itself. A wider distinction must be drawn before
we can find guidance.

VI

Let us look now at a different, older and, as I think, much finer ideal
of marriage, for by this means we may find out more clearly how very far
we have wandered from happiness and freedom in marriage in our search
for those very things.

It is the Jewish ideal of marriage that I wish to bring before you. And
I would say first that the remarks I am offering are not gathered only
from what I have read and been told by others. I have learnt them from
my own experience, unconsciously and slowly, and even against my will.
My marriage with a Jew has taught me the wide separation between the
Jewish ideal of marriage and that which I had accepted: I cannot even
try to say how much I have gained and learnt.

The English ideal of marriage is concerned with rights and the
individual, the Jewish ideal is concerned with service and the race.
Their theory of marriage is one of religious duty, and has much less to
do with the accomplishments of passion; I think that is why Jewish
marriages are so happy.

Modern writers on the Jewish point of view (such as Achad-ha-Am and
Melamed) are agreed that the morality of the Jews is a collective rather
than an individual morality, aiming at race preservation rather than
individual development, practice rather than faith, the continuance and
improvement of life rather than spiritual recompense. Consequently,
wherever Jewish traditions retain their hold, the begetting and care of
children must necessarily occupy the most important portion of life.
Thus marriage is regarded as a duty to be undertaken by all, not as a
pleasure to be indulged in or to be left dependent on the individual
will. It is a sacred duty of parents to arrange a marriage for every
child; marriage and the life of the home is still deeply religious;
Jewish mothers do not go out to work in factories, they are more
concerned with the service of the home than with anything outside of the
home. They are very old-fashioned, and they are very happy: they
consider barrenness the greatest possible misfortune.

Do you see the contrast I am trying to establish? The essence of the
romantic ideal of marriage is at bottom an insupportable egoism--the
seeking of happiness by the all too insistent