so all these twenty-eight or twenty-nine years I have
lived in the conviction that my performance of that time was
coarse, vulgar and destitute of humor. But your suggestion that you
and your family found humor in it twenty-eight years ago moved me
to look into the matter. So I commissioned a Boston typewriter to
delve among the Boston papers of that bygone time and send me a
copy of it.

It came this morning, and if there is any vulgarity about it I am
not able to discover it. If it isn't innocently and ridiculously
funny, I am no judge. I will see to it that you get a copy.

Address of Samuel L. Clemens ("Mark Twain")
From a report of the dinner given by the Publishers
of the Atlantic Monthly in honor of the
Seventieth Anniversary of the
Birth of John Greenleaf Whittier, at the Hotel Brunswick,
Boston, December 17, 1877,
as published in the
BOSTON EVENING TRANSCRIPT,
December 18, 1877

Mr. Chairman--This is an occasion peculiarly meet for the digging
up of pleasant reminiscences concerning literary folk; therefore I
will drop lightly into history myself. Standing here on the shore
of the Atlantic and contemplating certain of its largest literary
billows, I am reminded of a thing which happened to me thirteen
years ago, when I had just succeeded in stirring up a little
Nevadian literary puddle myself, whose spume-flakes were beginning
to blow thinly Californiawards. I started an inspection tramp
through the southern mines of California. I was callow and
conceited, and I resolved to try the virtue of my _nom de guerre._
I very soon had an opportunity. I knocked at a miner's lonely log
cabin in the foothills of the Sierras just at nightfall. It was
snowing at the time. A jaded, melancholy man of fifty, barefooted,
opened the door to me. When he heard my _nom de guerre_ he looked
more dejected than before. He let me in--pretty reluctantly, I
thought--and after the customary bacon and beans, black coffee and
hot whiskey, I took a pipe. This sorrowful man had not said three
words up to this time. Now he spoke up and said, in the voice of
one who is secretly suffering, "You're the fourth--I'm going to