all strangers: people whose faces
I had never seen before. In this state I had a charge given of a set
of horrid children, whom I was expected constantly to amuse, as well
as instruct. I soon found that the constant demand on my stock of
animal spirits reduced them to the lowest state of exhaustion; at
times I felt--and, I suppose seemed--depressed. To my astonishment,
I was taken to task on the subject by Mrs. Sidgwick, with a sternness
of manner and a harshness of language scarcely credible. Like a
fool, I cried most bitterly. I could not help it; my spirits quite
failed me at first. I thought I had done my best, strained every
nerve to please her; and to be treated in that way, merely because I
was shy and sometimes melancholy, was too bad. At first I was for
giving all up and going home. But after a little reflection, I
determined to summon what energy I had, and to weather the storm. I
said to myself, "I had never yet quitted a place without gaining a
friend; adversity is a good school; the poor are born to labour, and
the dependent to endure." I resolved to be patient, to command my
feelings, and to take what came; the ordeal, I reflected, would not
last many weeks, and I trusted it would do me good. I recollected
the fable of the willow and the oak; I bent quietly, and now I trust
the storm is blowing over. Mrs. Sidgwick is generally considered an
agreeable woman; so she is, I doubt not, in general society. Her
health is sound, her animal spirits good, consequently she is
cheerful in company. But oh! does this compensate for the absence of
every fine feeling, of every gentle and delicate sentiment? She
behaves somewhat more civilly to me now than she did at first, and
the children are a little more manageable; but she does not know my
character, and she does not wish to know it. I have never had five
minutes conversation with her since I came, except when she was
scolding me. I have no wish to be pitied, except by yourself. If I
were talking to you I could tell you much more. Good-bye, dear, dear
Ellen. Write to me again very soon, and tell me how you are.

'C. BRONTE.'

TO MISS ELLEN NUSSEY

'HAWORTH, _July_ 26_th_, 1839.

'DEAR ELL