his philosopher.

He was met on the bridge by a slender youth with red cheeks and a
sunburnt neck. It was the philosopher, rejuvenated and full of high
spirits.

He jumped over the six stiles and chased the bull.

When they were sitting on the verandah, the partner said to him:--

"You are looking very well, what sort of a time have you had?"

"Oh! an excellent time!" said the philosopher. "The fences have taken
off my fat; the stones have massaged my feet; the mud-baths have
cured me of my rheumatism; the plain food has cured my liver, and the
pine-trees my lungs; and, could you believe it, the brown spring-water
contained iron, just what I wanted!"

"Well, you old philosopher," said the partner, "don't you understand
that from the negative you get a positive, where all the shade becomes
light again? If you would only take such a positive picture of me and
try and find out what faults I do _not_ possess, you would not dislike
me so much. Only think: I don't drink, and therefore I am able to manage
the business; I don't steal; I never talk evil of you behind your back;
I never complain; I never make white appear black; I am never rude to
the customers; I rise early in the morning; I clean my nails so as to
keep the developer clean; I leave my hat on so that no hairs shall fall
on the plates; I smoke so as to purify the air of poisonous gases; I
keep the door ajar so as not to make a noise in the studio; I drink beer
in the evening so as to escape the temptation of drinking whisky; and I
put the knife into my mouth because I am afraid of pricking myself with
the fork."

"You really are a great philosopher," said the photographer, "henceforth
we will be friends! Then we shall get on in life!"

HALF A SHEET OF FOOLSCAP

The last furniture van had left; the tenant, a young man with a crape
band round his hat, walked for the last time through the empty rooms
to make sure that nothing had been left behind. No, nothing had been
forgotten, nothing at all. He went out into the front hall, firmly
determined never to think again of all that had happened to him in these
rooms. And all at once his eyes fell on half a sheet of foolscap, which
somehow had got wedged between the wall and the telephone; the paper was
covered with writing, evidently the writing of more persons than one.
Some of the entries were written quite legibly with pen and ink, while
others were scribbled with a lead-pencil; here and there even a r