*

[Illustration: THE HEIGHT OF EXCLUSIVENESS.

_Miss Prunes._ "AH, DOCTOR, THESE HIGH SCHOOLS ARE SADLY MIXED! BUT,
UNDER _MY_ CARE, I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOUR LITTLE WARD WILL ASSOCIATE
WITH DAUGHTERS OF _GENTLEMEN ONLY_!"

_The Doctor._ "THAT, MADAM, IS TO BE SELECT INDEED; SINCE I BELIEVE
PALLAS ATHENE ALONE FULFILLED SUCH A CONDITION."

(For pedigree of Pallas Athene vide Classical Dictionary--Art.
"Minerva.")]

* * * * *

COLUMBUS.

[Illustration]

COLUMBUS! We read of him every day,
In books, pamphlets, magazines, papers;
Whilst Italy, Portugal, Spain, U.S.A.,
Cut constant, consecutive capers.

They started last month with reviews on the main;
On the land with processions--a quaint row.
Such the fetes, aptly called by the French "_Fetes de Genes_,"
_Fait accompli_, good luck, _ca nous gene trop!_

But never say die; now Huelva goes on,
New York follows, steady and sober,
And Chicago makes ready for more derned, dog gone
_Fetes_ to last till, at least, next October!

COLUMBUS, your search for a sort of New Cut
Was meant for the best, we don't doubt it;
No harm in discovering Continents, but
You might have said nothing about it.

Still, had you not found a location for clam,
Canvas back, buckwheat cakes, we should sorter
Have missed the acquaintance of 'cute Uncle SAM,
And his fearless, free, fragile, fair daughter.

COLUMBUS! The newspapers never will drop
This subject; we wish, as months roll on,
Some common bacillus had put a full stop
Long ago to Don CHRISTOBAL COLON!

* * * * *

"ANECDOTAGE."

_COMPANION PARAGRAPHS TO STORIES OF THE SAME KIND._

SIR WALTER SCOTT was never so well pleased as when meeting a brother
author. One day he passed by a gauger, who was so careless in
his duties that the author of _Waverley_ was able to smuggle into
Edinburgh some whiskey that was supposed never to have paid duty. On
reaching Abbotsford, "the Wizard of the North" was informed that he
had met one of the greatest poets of North Britain. "So I suspected,"
he replied. "It must have been BURNS." Sir WALTER was right--it _was_
BURNS.

* * * * *

PITT, the younger, and FOX were both fond of port wine, and lost
no opportunity of indulging in their favourite beverage. Meeting at
CROCKFORD's one evening, PITT (being in straitened cir