The whole subject of getting married, or falling in love, or meeting a man
you _may_ fall in love with, is often smothered up out of sight, as if it
were something wrong. If you have your life so full of other interests
that it does not concern you till the real thing comes, so much the
better--you will lose the pleasantest five years of your life if you turn
your mind in this direction too soon.

What often happens is that it is plentifully thought of and talked of
among the girls, and hidden away from the mothers and any older friends.
Either do not speak of it at all, or let it be an open straightforward
thing, instead of a Rosa Matilda mystery. So often a girl feels a
delightful spice of impropriety in any remark about a man or a boy. If she
had more to do with them she would not be so silly--unless she had a very
odd sort of menkind belonging to her; but you will find girls (very
unattractive ones, too) always imagining that a man is in love with them,
or else being silly themselves over every other man they meet.

What I am describing is, of course, very vulgar; but, from the castle to
the cottage, no house is folly-proof, though the outward manifestations of
it may be less objectionable where the manners are better.

Now, with regard to all the kinds of talk which I have singled out as
undesirable, please understand, that except in speaking of wickedness (or
worse still nastiness), which is always a sin and needs your penitent
confession and God's absolution, all these things are wrong, only in the
wrong place and wrong way and wrong proportion.

If you are keen about any of them, and want dreadfully to talk about it,
do so; let it out, if you cannot fill your mind with other things; only,
do it with an older person, so as to save yourself from that demon of
silliness who hovers about a room where girls are alone together. He is
powerless unless you invoke him; but remember, he is always there, eagerly
watching his opportunity.

I advise you to make it a rule for yourself always to go to an older
friend, when you want to talk about anything that might be not quite nice,
or that might verge on silliness. If conscience or prudence give any
pricks in the matter, go to an elder. You do not know how much such a rule
would save you from, and if you say, "but that is impossible, she would
not understand!" then I say to you, "well, it is always possible to hold
your tongue, though _I_ do not wish to impose such a