every day the school recalled
the insult to my mind, causing me hours of great bitterness. But what
was I to do? I could not undeceive my mother, I had to say to her that
her three years of sacrifice to give me this profession now constituted
my happiness. It is necessary to make her believe that this profession
is most honorable, the work delightful, the way strewn with flowers,
that the performance of my duties brings me only friendship, that the
people respect me and show me every consideration. By doing otherwise,
without ceasing to be unhappy myself, I should have caused more
sorrow, which besides being useless would also be a sin. I stayed on,
therefore, and tried not to feel discouraged. I tried to struggle on."

Here he paused for a while, then resumed: "From the day on which I
was so grossly insulted I began to examine myself and I found that I
was in fact very ignorant. I applied myself day and night to the study
of Spanish and whatever concerned my profession. The old Sage lent me
some books, and I read and pondered over everything that I could get
hold of. With the new ideas that I have been acquiring in one place
and another my point of view has changed and I have seen many things
under a different aspect from what they had appeared to me before. I
saw error where before I had seen only truth, and truth in many
things where I had formerly seen only error. Corporal punishment, for
example, which from time immemorial has been the distinctive feature
in the schools and which has heretofore been considered as the only
efficacious means of making pupils learn--so we have been accustomed
to believe--soon appeared to me to be a great hindrance rather than
in any way an aid to the child's progress. I became convinced that
it was impossible to use one's mind properly when blows, or similar
punishment, were in prospect. Fear and terror disturb the most serene,
and a child's imagination, besides being very lively, is also very
impressionable. As it is on the brain that ideas are impressed,
it is necessary that there be both inner and outer calm, that there
be serenity of spirit, physical and moral repose, and willingness,
so I thought that before everything else I should cultivate in the
children confidence, assurance, and some personal pride. Moreover,
I comprehended that the daily sight of floggings destroyed kindness
in their hearts and deadened all sense of dignity, which is such a
powerful lever in the world. At