EDING
ROOMS IN OXFORD

(A Sonnet in Oxfordshire Dialect)

Zeek w'ere thee will in t'Univursity,
Lad, thee'll not vind nor bread nor bed that
matches
Them as thee'll vind, roight zure, at Mrs.
Batch's...

I do not quote the poem in extenso, because, frankly, I think it was one
of his least happily-inspired works. His was not a Muse that could with
a good grace doff the grand manner. Also, his command of the Oxfordshire
dialect seems to me based less on study than on conjecture. In fact, I
do not place the poem higher than among the curiosities of literature.
It has extrinsic value, however, as illustrating the Duke's
thoughtfulness for others in the last hours of his life. And to Mrs.
Batch the MS., framed and glazed in her hall, is an asset beyond price
(witness her recent refusal of Mr. Pierpont Morgan's sensational bid for
it).

This MS. she received together with the Duke's cheque. The presentation
was made some twenty minutes after she had laid her accounts before him.

Lavish in giving large sums of his own accord, he was apt to be
circumspect in the matter of small payments. Such is ever the way of
opulent men. Nor do I see that we have a right to sneer at them for it.
We cannot deny that their existence is a temptation to us. It is in our
fallen nature to want to get something out of them; and, as we think in
small sums (heaven knows), it is of small sums that they are careful.
Absurd to suppose they really care about halfpence. It must, therefore,
be about us that they care; and we ought to be grateful to them for the
pains they are at to keep us guiltless. I do not suggest that Mrs. Batch
had at any point overcharged the Duke; but how was he to know that she
had not done so, except by checking the items, as was his wont? The
reductions that he made, here and there, did not in all amount to
three-and-sixpence. I do not say they were just. But I do say that his
motive for making them, and his satisfaction at having made them, were
rather beautiful than otherwise.

Having struck an average of Mrs. Batch's weekly charges, and a similar
average of his own reductions, he had a basis on which to reckon his
board for the rest of the term. This amount he added to Mrs. Batch's
amended total, plus the full term's rent, and accordingly drew a cheque
on the local bank where he had an account. Mrs. Batch said she would
bring up a stamped receipt directly; but this the D