ly. "Here's the food
table. It's lovely. It tells everything. I never saw anything so
wonderful. A--b--c--d--e--here we are. 'Eggs, scrambled or boiled, fats
and proteins, one egg, 100.' If it's poached it's only 50; but you like
yours boiled, so we'll have to reckon on the 100. And you always have
two, so that means 200 calories in fats and proteins. Now, don't you
see? If you can't have but 300 proteins and 350 fats all day, and you've
already eaten 200 in your two eggs, that'll leave just--er--450 for all
the rest of the day,--of fats and proteins, you understand. And you've
no idea how fast that'll count up. Why, just one serving of butter is
100 of fats, and eight almonds is another, while a serving of lentils is
100 of proteins. So you see how it'll go."

"Yes, I see," murmured Uncle William, casting a mournful glance about
the generously laden table, much as if he were bidding farewell to
a departing friend. "But if I should want more to eat--" He stopped
helplessly, and Bertram's aggrieved voice filled the pause.

"Look here, Billy, if you think I'm going to be measured for an egg and
weighed for an almond, you're much mistaken; because I'm not. I want to
eat what I like, and as much as I like, whether it's six calories or six
thousand!"

Billy chuckled, but she raised her hands in pretended shocked protest.

"Six thousand! Mercy! Bertram, I don't know what would happen if you ate
that quantity; but I'm sure you couldn't paint. You'd just have to saw
wood and dig ditches to use up all that vital energy."

"Humph!" scoffed Bertram.

"Besides, this is for _efficiency_," went on Billy, with an earnest
air. "This man owns up that some may think a 2,000 calory ration is
altogether too small, and he advises such to begin with 3,000 or
even 3,500--graded, of course, according to a man's size, weight, and
occupation. But he says one famous man does splendid work on only
1,800 calories, and another on even 1,600. But that is just a matter of
chewing. Why, Bertram, you have no idea what perfectly wonderful things
chewing does."

"Yes, I've heard of that," grunted Bertram; "ten chews to a cherry, and
sixty to a spoonful of soup. There's an old metronome up-stairs that
Cyril left. You might bring it down and set it going on the table--so
many ticks to a mouthful, I suppose. I reckon, with an incentive like
that to eat, just about two calories would do me. Eh, William?"

"Bertram! Now you're only making fun," chided