s that your other statements, without the 'by God'
preface, are not seriously intended. Are they jokes or lies?"

"That ain't the way it is at all! I just say 'by God' when I feel like
it, not every time I'm bein' serious."

"Monstrous inconsistency!" groaned the Weapon dramatically. "Ah,
chaotic universe! Is there then no sublime plan, no fateful
development to your endless succession of days? How could even the
most synoptic First Principle find a purpose for creating such an
unplanned, unreasonable species as the Humans? Can it be--unhappy
thought!--that there is no plan to it all, and we exist for naught?"

Jacob listened with open mouth. "Say," he broke in, "are you some kind
of play-actor?"

"That is what I ask myself," the Weapon continued its oratorical
flight. "Are we all actors, speaking the lines written for us by a
Great Playwright who plans to unite all the threads of his plot in a
universal climax to come? Or are we poor random creatures without
purpose?" It paused and added in a more conversational tone, "But that
is not what you mean by your question. No, I am not a play-actor. I am
an unfortunate weapon, reluctant to employ myself for my intended
purpose of destruction of life and unsuited by my structure for the
doing of deeds more worthy in nature."

Jacob squinted about. "A weapon, huh? Let's see you hit that bird
thing sittin' in that tree over there."

"Bloodthirsty fiend! I do not kill for amusement!"

"I just wanted to see how you worked," said the abashed Jacob. "All
I've seen you do is float around and talk a blue streak. As far as I'm
concerned, you ain't nothin' but a big-mouthed bluff."

"Very well, Jacob. If you have formed such an erroneous attitude, it
will be necessary for me to correct you immediately. Observe the red
boulder on yonder hill."

"I see it."

* * * * *

The cylindrical base of the Weapon swung to point briefly at the
boulder, which quietly crumbled to dust.

"I be dog!" yelped Jacob. He looked at the Weapon with respect. "You
sure pulverized it! How do you work?"

"You could not understand the processes involved. Suffice it to say I
have the means to collect energy in general and retransmit it in
specific forms and directions. But enough of this. You are here to
answer questions, not ask them. First, tell me what you did in an
average day on Terra."

"That what you call the world I live on?"

"Yes."

"I'm a farmer, you k