elly pot. Now, this was a circumstance which Mrs. Callender noted, and
of which she, on the instant, determined to take a desperate advantage.
Regardless of all consequences, and, amongst the rest, of discovering to
her husband the underhand part she had been playing in regard to the
affair of the nightcap, she resolved on publicly exposing, as she
imagined, the falsehood and pride of her hated rival, by stating the
facts of the case as to the celebrated nightcaps. To this revenge she
determined on sacrificing every other consideration. To return, however,
in the meantime, to the proceedings in court.

The statements of the pursuers being now exhausted, the defenders were
called upon to give their version of the story. On this summons, both
Mrs. Callender and her husband pressed themselves into a central
position, with the apparent intention of both entering on the defences
at the same time. And this proved to be the fact. On being specially and
directly invited by the judge to open the case--

"Ye see, my lord," began Mr. Thomas Callender; and--

"My lord, sir, ye see," began, at the same instant, _Mrs._ Thomas
Callender.

"Now, now," here interposed the judge, waving his hand impatiently, "one
at a time, if you please. One at a time."

"Surely," replied Mr. Callender. "Staun aside, guidwife, staun aside,"
he said; at the same time gently pushing his wife back with his left
hand as he spoke. _"I'll_ lay doon the case to his lordship."

"Ye'll do nae sic a thing, Thomas; _I'll_ do't," exclaimed Mrs.
Callender, not only resisting her husband's attempt to thrust her into
the rear, but forcibly placing _him_ in that relative position; while
she herself advanced a pace or two nearer to the bench. On gaining this
vantage ground, Mrs. Callender at once began, and with great emphasis
and circumstantiality detailed the whole story of the nightcaps;
carefully modelling it so, however, as to show that her own part in the
transaction was a _bona fide_ proceeding; on the part of her rival, the
reverse; and that the whole quarrel, with its consequent demolition of
crockery, was entirely the result of Mrs. Anderson's "upsettin' pride,
and vanity, and jealousy." During the delivery of these details, the
court was convulsed with laughter, in which the sheriff himself had much
difficulty to refrain from joining.

On the husbands of the two women, however, they had a very different
effect. Amazed, confounded, and grievously affron