vernment. I laid myself pretty
wide open, there; and I thought I was handsomely generous, too, when
I did it. France can teach us how to levy village and city taxes which
distribute the burden with a nearer approach to perfect fairness than is
the case in any other land; and she can teach us the wisest and surest
system of collecting them that exists. She can teach us how to elect
a President in a sane way; and also how to do it without throwing the
country into earthquakes and convulsions that cripple and embarrass
business, stir up party hatred in the hearts of men, and make peaceful
people wish the term extended to thirty years. France can teach us--but
enough of that part of the question. And what else can France teach
us? She can teach us all the fine arts--and does. She throws open her
hospitable art academies, and says to us, "Come"--and we come, troops
and troops of our young and gifted; and she sets over us the ablest
masters in the world and bearing the greatest names; and she, teaches us
all that we are capable of learning, and persuades us and encourages us
with prizes and honors, much as if we were somehow children of her own;
and when this noble education is finished and we are ready to carry it
home and spread its gracious ministries abroad over our nation, and we
come with homage and gratitude and ask France for the bill--there is
nothing to pay. And in return for this imperial generosity, what does
America do? She charges a duty on French works of art!

I wish I had your end of this dispute; I should have something worth
talking about. If you would only furnish me something to argue,
something to refute--but you persistently won't. You leave good
chances unutilized and spend your strength in proving and establishing
unimportant things. For instance, you have proven and established these
eight facts here following--a good score as to number, but not worth
while:

Mark Twain is--

1. "Insulting."

2. (Sarcastically speaking) "This refined humor, 1st."

3. Prefers the manure-pile to the violets.

4. Has uttered "an ill-natured sneer."

5. Is "nasty."

6. Needs a "lesson in politeness and good manners."

7. Has published a "nasty article."

8. Has made remarks "unworthy of a gentleman."--["It is more funny than
his" (Mark Twain's) "anecdote, and would have been less insulting."]

A quoted remark of mine "is a gross insult to a nation friendly to
America."

"He has read La Terre, this refined