if he had taken aim at it on purpose.
It is a _peculiar turn of mind_, or, if you prefer it, a _whim_, or a
_fancy_, that I shall talk about, for an hour or so, perhaps longer.
Indeed, I am not perfectly sure but I shall find a whole flock of
whims and fancies, because, you know, "birds of a feather flock
together," and, in that case, I shall give you a peep at a score or
two of whims and fancies.

Now, who knows but these crotchets will be worth hearing about? People
write large, thick volumes, on drier topics than whims and
fancies--that is, to my way of thinking--and I suppose their books
are read. Certainly they expect to have them read, or they would not
make them. Then why may not my book on crotchets find readers?

If I were to write a book on _warts_ and _corns_, don't you think the
book would get read? I do. I have not the least doubt of it. Suppose,
now, it were published in the newspapers, that _Messrs. Phillips,
Sampson & Company_, one of the largest and most respectable publishing
houses in the Union, are about to issue a volume, entitled _Freaks of
the Wart Family_, from the pen of Uncle Frank, a man who, first and
last, has printed a good deal of sense, together with some nonsense,
and who, in this volume, has succeeded in stringing together some of
the strangest things that ever saw the light. Suppose that some
newspaper should give that item of news, don't you think folks would
get the book, when it was published? and don't you think they would
read it, or, at all events, skim it over, to see what kind of stuff
Uncle Frank had been emptying out of his brain? I think so.

Well, warts and corns are to the body what whims and crotchets are to
the mind. The body has freaks--the mind has freaks. Warts don't
exactly _belong_ to the body. That is, there could be a very good sort
of a body, without a single wart on it; and indeed, if you please, a
man would be a more perfect man, if there were no warts about him,
from head to foot. So of crotchets. I don't pretend that a person has
any thing to boast of, because his head is full of crotchets. Perhaps
he would be better without them. _Perhaps_ he would. But warts and
crotchets are both found among mankind. Both are freaks of nature, so
to speak; of course, both are worth examining. One thing at a time,
though. Let us turn our attention, at present, to _crotchets_.

CHAP. II.

CROTCHETY FOLKS.

A crotchety person, according to this same Noah Webste