to pray to the Virgin Mary for help, but I was so much
taken up with the fear of forgetting something or making a bad confession,
that I muttered my prayers without the least attention to what I said. It
became still worse, when I commenced counting my sins, my memory, though
very good, became confused: my head grew dizzy: my heart beat with a
rapidity which exhausted me, and my brow was covered with perspiration.
After a considerable length of time, spent in those painful efforts, I felt
bordering on despair from the fear that it was impossible for me to
remember exactly every thing, and to confess each sin as it occurred. The
night following was almost a sleepless one: and when sleep did come, it
could hardly be called sleep, but a suffocating delirium. In a frightful
dream, I felt as if I had been cast into hell, for not having confessed all
my sins to the priest. In the morning, I awoke fatigued, and prostrate by
the phantoms and emotions of that terrible night. In similar troubles of
mind were passed the three days which preceeded my first confession.

I had constantly before me the countenance of that stern priest who had
never smiled upon me. He was present to my thoughts during the days, and in
my dreams during the nights, as the minister of an angry God, justly
irritated against me, on account of my sins. Forgiveness had indeed been
promised to me, on condition of a good confession; but my place had also
been shown to me in hell, if my confession was not as near perfection as
possible.

Now, my troubled conscience told me that there were ninety chances against
one that my confession would be bad, either if by my own fault, I forget
some sins, or if I was without that contrition of which I had heard so
much, but the nature and effects of which were a perfect chaos in my mind.

At length came the day of confession, or rather of judgment and
condemnation. I presented myself to the priest, the Rev. Mr. Beaubien.

He had then, the defects of lisping and stammering which we, often turned
into ridicule. And as nature had unfortunately endowed me with admirable
powers as a mimic, the infirmities of this poor priest afforded only too
good an opportunity for the exercise of my talent. Not only was it one of
my favorite amusements to imitate him before the pupils amidst roars of
laughter but also, I preached portions of his sermons before his
parishioners of villages, with similar results. Indeed, many of them came
from