with one foot on top of the other in a very uncomfortable
manner. Still, he was trying to smile, as if to convey the idea that
Old Mother Hubbard must be joking, of course.

But the old lady continued severely: "I've warned you before. You
ought to know by this time that a house is a--a house."

Here Everychild managed to say, "I'll not be a bit of trouble, Mother
Hubbard, and--and I'm very glad to meet you."

She stared at him as if she were really seeing him for the first time.
But her temper broke forth again. "Don't tell me!" she exclaimed. "I
know what boys are. You'll not deny, I suppose, that you get
ravenously hungry three times a day?"

Everychild was so amazed by this that he looked helplessly at Tom.

"Precisely!" continued Old Mother Hubbard. "Well, you should have
heard our President's address yesterday afternoon on _The Superfluous
Table_."

Her son interrupted in great embarrassment, "Oh, mother, he doesn't
even know what you mean!"

"Per'aps not. You've not told him, then, that your mother is
Vice-President of the Mother Goose Auxiliary of the Amalgamated
Associations of Notable Ladies?"

"No, mother," said Tom, bending his head in shame.

"Well, at all events . . . the President went on to say that the dinner
table was a relic of barbarism. And she was quite right. She cited
cases known to all we ladies . . ."

Mr. Literal, from his place in the background, could not help saying to
the Masked Lady, "Why is it that ladies with baritone voices _always_
have trouble with their objective case?"

But the Masked Lady did not reply, and Old Mother Hubbard continued:
"There was the case of Mrs. Horner's son--her dear, dutiful little
Jack. When he ate his Christmas pie, where was he sitting? _In a
corner_! No dinner table there to cause a lot of work and worry. And
please note that he was delighted when he _pulled out a plum_. Yet the
plum is one of the simplest forms of--of sustenance. And there was
Miss Muffet, daughter of the highly honored Mrs. Alonso Muffet. During
that meal which has become historic, where did she sit? _On a tuffet_!"

Everychild could not help asking, "What _is_ a tuffet?"

But Old Mother Hubbard only regarded him blankly, as if there had been
no interruption, and then she proceeded. "And you will note what she
was eating. _Curds and whey_--perfectly simple yet nutritious fare.
There were other instances showing that the wasteful dinner table must
go. I