door, and became duplicated--wouldn't wake the house-porter till
five.

N.B. Found I had used my own thumb for a sounding-plate, and had
bruised my nail awfully.

Nov. 14.--Devoted the day to soda-water and my tailor's bill--gave
a draught for the amount, and took another on my own account.

Nov. 15.--Lectured by the "governor"--left the house savage--met
the Marquess--got very drunk unconsciously--fancied myself a
merman, and that the gutter in the Haymarket was the
Archipelago--grew preposterous, and felt that I should like to be
run over--thought I was waltzing with Cerito, but found I was
being carried on a stretcher to the station-house--somebody sent
somewhere for bail, and somebody bailed me.

_State of Knocker_.--Very indistinct--then became uncommonly like
the "governor" in his nightcap--_could_ NOT reach it--presume it
was filial affection that prevented me--knocked of its own accord,
no doubt agitated by sympathy--reverberated in my ears all night,
and left me with a confounded head-ache in the morning.

The above examples are sufficient to show the variability of this singular
article.

Formerly the knocker was devoted entirely to the menial occupation of
announcing, by a single dab, or a variation of raps, the desire of persons
on the door-step to communicate with the occupants of the interior of a
mansion. Modern genius has elevated it into a source of refined pleasure
and practical humour, affording at the same time employment to the artisan,
excitement to the gentleman, and broken heads and dislocations of every
variety to the police!

We will now proceed to the details of an event which PUNCH alone is worthy
to record:--

Notice of a meet having been despatched to all the members of the "Knocker
Hunt," a splendid field--no _street_--met at the Cavendish--the hotel of
the hospitable Marquess. The white damask which covered the mahogany was
dotted here and there with rich and invigorating viands; whilst decanters
of port and sherry--jugs of Chateau Margaux--bottles of exhilarating
spirits, and boxes of cigars, agreeably diversified the scene. After a
plentiful but orderly discussion of the "creature comforts," (for all
ebullitions at home are strictly prohibited by the Marquess) it was
proposed to _draw_ St. James's Square. This suggestion was, however,
abandoned, as it was reported by Captain Pepperwell, that a party of snobs
h