w, I think I shall be able to give
both Mrs Plumper and yourself a complete explanation of what must appear
most extraordinary conduct on my part.

_Re-enter_ Flamm.

_Fl_. The cab is ready.

_Ad_. Now, Lady Elaine, if you will allow Dr Plumper and myself to
assist you, we will accompany you home. [_Exeunt omnes_.

SCENE VI.--Lady Gules's Boudoir. Lord and Lady Gules--Adolphus.

_Lord G_. Ha, ha, ha! Oh, wait a moment, my dear Gresham, or you'll
kill me with laughing. It's the best joke I ever heard in my life, and
most cleverly executed. So you caught the Radical, Comtist, aesthetic
little minx in her own trap. Oh, excellent! I can't say how thoroughly
Lady Gules and I congratulate you on the success of your ruse, and how
happy you have made us. My lady there is too pleased with the probable
result to quarrel about the means. But how you did take us all in! I
give you my word I never suspected you for a moment. Your stammer and
wig were both admirable. As for Elaine, she's torturing her brain with
metaphysical doubts as to the nature of love, and says she will never
love again. She tells her mother that her Adolphus was an ideal
personage who has no longer existence, and that her love is buried with
him; but here she comes, so we will leave you to fight your own battle.

[_Exeunt_ Lord _and_ Lady Gules.

_Enter_ Elaine.

_Ad_. Dear Elaine.

_El_. Sir!

_Ad_. Nay, rather Adolphus than sir.

_El_. How can I say Adolphus? there is no Adolphus.

_Ad_. Indeed there is--[_producing wig and spectacles_]--pup-pup-pardon
me while I put them on. If it was only my wig and spectacles you cared
about, did-did-dearest, I will wear them and stammer through life fuf-fuf-
for your sake.

_El_. Oh, Mr Gresham, how can you be so heartless? You know very well I
loved you--at least I didn't love you,--I mean, I thought I loved
Adolphus--at least I was sure of it at the time; but I'm sure I don't
now. Oh, how cruel of you!

_Ad_. But if it was not my wig and spectacles and stammer for which you
felt a magnetic affinity, I want to know exactly what it was you did
love; because I am precisely the same human being without them as with
them. What about me struck that mysterious chord of sympathy which
vibrated in your affections when I was Plumper, which failed to strike it
as Gresham? Why should not our hearts still beat in sweet accord without
my wig? Why should not "this exquisite garment,