of a boiled fowl.

YELLOW HOSE. Then, according to the law of the Kingdom of Hearts,
we must condemn it, and the Lady Violetta cannot become the bride
of Pompdebile. Back to her native land she will be sent, riding a
mule.

BLUE HOSE. And she is so pretty, so exquisite! What a law! What
an outrageous law!

YELLOW HOSE. Outrageous law! How dare you! There is nothing so
necessary to the welfare of the nation as our art. Good cooks
make good tempers, don't they? Must not the queen set an example
for the other women to follow? Did not our fathers and our
grandfathers before us judge the dishes of the previous queens of
hearts?

BLUE HOSE. I wish I were mixing the rolls for to-morrow's
breakfast.

YELLOW HOSE. Bah! You are fit for nothing else. The affairs of
state are beyond you.

(_Distant sound of trumpets._)

BLUE HOSE (_nervously_). What's that?

YELLOW HOSE. The King is approaching! The ceremonies are about to
commence!

BLUE HOSE. Is everything ready?

YELLOW HOSE. I told you that everything was ready. Stand still;
you are as white as a stalk of celery.

BLUE HOSE (_counting on his fingers_). Apples, lemons, peaches,
jam--Jam! Did you forget jam?

YELLOW HOSE. Zounds, I did!

BLUE HOSE (_wailing_). We are lost!

YELLOW HOSE. She may not call for it.

(_Both stand very erect and make a desperate effort to appear
calm._)

BLUE HOSE (_very nervous_). Which door? Which door?

YELLOW HOSE. The big one, idiot. Be still!

(_The sound of trumpets increases, and cries of "Make way for the
King." Two_ HERALDS _come in and stand on either side of the door.
The_ KING OF HEARTS _enters, followed by ladies and gentlemen of
the court._ POMPDEBILE _is in full regalia, and very imposing
indeed with his red robe bordered with ermine, his crown and
sceptre. After him comes the_ CHANCELLOR, _an old man with a short,
white beard. The_ KING _strides in a particularly kingly fashion,
pointing his toes in the air at every step, toward his throne,
and sits down. The_ KNAVE _walks behind him slowly. He has a sharp,
pale face._)

POMPDEBILE (_impressively_). Lords and ladies of the court, this is
an important moment in the history of our reign. The Lady
Violetta, whom you love and respect--that is, I mean to say, whom
the ladies love and the lords--er--respect, is about to prove
whether or not she be fitted to hold the exalted position of
Queen of Hearts, according to the law, made a thousand years ago
by Pompdeb