his choice.

The views held by Hamilton and recorded in various conflicting
versions give the impression that he was puzzled, and could not
determine whether to believe in the fidelity of Nelson or not. Some
writers think that he winked at the liaison because of the difference
between his own age and that of his wife; others, that he thought the
relations were innocent, and a token of high-spirited friendship for
himself; but all delicately indicate their conviction that he knew
what was going on. Meanwhile, Nelson steadfastly avows his unyielding
fidelity to his friends, and, with this exception, I think we may
conclude that his devotion to them could always be relied upon;
indeed, his attachment to Hamilton was of an affectionate character,
even when many people believed he was betraying him. Whether Sir
William knew and believed that the association between his wife and
Nelson was pure or not,[6] he evidently desired that no one else
should believe it, for in a codicil to his will he bequeaths "The copy
of Madam Le Brun's picture of his wife in enamel, and gives to his
dearest friend, Nelson, a very small token of the great regard he has
for his Lordship, the most virtuous, loyal, and truly brave character
I ever met with." Then he finishes up with God's blessing to him and
shame to those who do not say "Amen." This is a wonderful testimony of
friendship from a man who had been wronged, and might well have shaken
the belief of those who founded their opinions on the startling
improprieties they had beheld between the man whom he designated "the
most virtuous, loyal, and truly brave character he had ever met with"
and his wife. That Sir William connived at what looked uncommonly like
infidelity may or may not be doubtful, but that he saw more than would
have impressed an ordinary man or woman with suspicion is
unquestionable, and the best that can be said for his attitude is that
he was so mentally constituted that he could only see or preferred to
see in Nelson's extravagant attentions to his wife a guileless symbol
of high friendship for her, which he took as a compliment to himself.
On the other hand, if he not only suspected but knew that he was being
betrayed, and bitterly resented the passion which no remonstrances
from him could have controlled, he at any rate determined to let the
world see "how a Christian could die," and refrained from uttering the
unutterable. Napoleon on the rock at St. Helena acted in t