st, "as the clock struck four, and seated
myself on the steps, because I must be home early; my husband is hurt in
the knee."

"If you were first, you shall be helped last." said Master Joseph, "to
reward you for your pains!" and he began taking the orders of the other
woman.

"O! Lord have mercy on me!" said the disappointed woman; "and I got up
in the middle of the night for this!"

"More fool you! And what you came for I am sure I don't know," said
Master Joseph; "for you have a pretty long figure against you, I can
tell you that."

"I declare most solemnly--" said the woman.

"Don't make a brawling here," said Master Joseph, "or I'll jump over
this here counter and knock you down, like nothing. What did you say,
woman? are you deaf? what did you say? how much best tea do you want?"

"I don't want any, sir."

"You never want best tea; you must take three ounces of best tea, or you
shan't have nothing. If you say another word, I'll put you down four.
You tall gal, what's your name, you keep back there, or I'll fetch you
such a cut as'll keep you at home till next reckoning. Cuss you, you old
fool, do you think I am to be kept all day while you are mumbling here?
Who's pushing on there? I see you, Mrs Page. Won't there be a black mark
against you? Oh! its Mrs Prance, is it? Father, put down Mrs Prance for
a peck of flour. I'll have order here. You think the last bacon a little
too fat: oh! you do, ma'am, do you? I'll take care you shan't complain
in futur; I likes to please my customers. There's a very nice flitch
hanging up in the engine-room; the men wanted some rust for the
machinery; you shall have a slice of that; and we'll say ten-pence a
pound, high-dried, and wery lean--will that satisfy you!

"Order there, order; you cussed women, order, or I'll be among you. And
if I just do jump over this here counter, won't I let fly right and
left? Speak out, you ideot! do you think I can hear your muttering in
this Babel? Cuss them; I'll keep them quiet," and so he took up a yard
measure, and leaning over the counter, hit right and left.

"Oh! you little monster!" exclaimed a woman, "you have put out my
babby's eye."

There was a murmur; almost a groan. "Whose baby's hurt?" asked Master
Joseph in a softened tone.

"Mine, sir," said an indignant voice; "Mary Church."

"Oh! Mary Church, is it!" said the malicious imp, "then I'll put Mary
Church down for half a pound of best arrow-root; that's the finest thing